Tanner and Jian

Happy Birthday Jian!

2011-09-29T15:57:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate Jian's 15th birthday! He woke up so excited this morning and was thrilled to have the table decorated, Dad making him noodles for breakfast, and a couple of gifts to open! This is his first American birthday and his second birthday with our family. Last year we celebrated at an Indian restaurant with some friends in China and this year we are celebrating him with friends and family. Many children adopted from China do not know their actual birth date, but, because of a note left with Jian, we do know that September 29, 1996 is really his birthday! He loves knowing that bit of information and we're grateful for God's kindness and provision for Jian with that note.What an exciting time, to celebrate his birthday, and at the same time be able to celebrate the amazing gift we have received in our son!

Jian has been talking about this day for a while now, how this will be his first birthday celebration ever, that in China, he was rarely, if ever, told Happy Birthday. This is such a fun day for all of us! I can't help but look back and wonder about all of his past birthdays and what he looked like and what he did. I think back to 15 years ago today, and wonder what that little baby looked like, wonder how big he was, what time he was born, how much hair he had, how long he was, how much he cried. I also think about the fact that if he wasn't born deaf we would never have known him, never have been able to be celebrating him, never have seen God's sovereignty played out so clearly in front of our eyes. What a bittersweet day, it's wonderful to celebrate him and and yet I'm sad for all of the celebrations he's missed with a family. We're thankful that, Lord willing, there will be many more celebrations to come!

What a blessing to have this boy brought to us 14 years after his birth, to become a part of our family and be able to praise God for his life!

Happy Birthday Jian Feng Lee Bergeron!

Jian's 1st Adoption Day!

2011-09-26T22:12:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrated Jian's adoption day! One year ago today we completed the official paperwork in China for his adoption. We've been looking at pictures and videos over the last few days of those days one year ago.

Meeting & chatting with Jian 9/25/2010

Jian has watched the videos many times over the last year and laughed at himself and talked about not understanding a lot of what we were signing. The last few days have been a little hard for him, probably anticipating the anniversary of his adoption and a lot of feelings being stirred up. Tonight we had a great time eating dinner with friends at a Chinese restaurant and he was so excited and happier than we've seen him for a while!

Opening adoption gift 9/26/2011

What a year it's been! We've had many ups and downs, but, overall, many more ups than downs and we've seen amazing changes over the last year! Jian's ASL is amazing, now we just try to remember some Chinese signs and only use our translator app for school! His English is improving and mostly, his behavior has improved! He's a joy to have around, he makes lots of jokes and is mostly comfortable being a part of our family! He's in school full time, playing football, participating often in class, and making friends.

Though we often have hard times, hard days, hard moments, it's a joy to remember this is where God purposed Jian to be long ago and it's a great reminder of His sovereignty! What a wonderful day to celebrate, and a fun time to look back and see all of the changes that have happened in one short year!

One year ago....

2011-09-24T23:48:00.001-05:00

One year ago, we were in a hotel room in Nanjing, China, anticipating meeting our new son in the morning. I remember being nervous, anxious, excited and stressed. I look back and vaguely remember thinking: How does one suddenly parent a 14-year-old from another country that uses another language that has never had a family before? How does one teach and love and nurture someone who's been raised in an institution? How does one choose to do this?

With a mighty and sovereign God guiding them, that's how.

It's exciting for us looking back and remembering, it was still nerve-wracking, but, clearly, God ordained, and so much easier to follow knowing it was His plan! But, for Jian, how difficult and unnerving to realize he was going to go with a family to a new country, a new culture, a new language, and a new life. Yes, it was exciting for him, but, absolutely out of his realm of knowledge and comprehension, and leaving behind everything he knew, both good and bad.

It's hard to believe that one year ago right now, we were anticipating meeting our son in less than 12 hours. One year ago right now, all we knew about the boy who was to be our son we'd only read about in e-mails and seen in short videos. One year ago right now, we were a family of three. One year ago right now, God was preparing our hearts to learn how to become parents to this boy that we'd never met and didn't know, that we would learn to love.

One year ago right now, we were preparing to meet a boy that had a name given from an orphanage, no future and no hope, and within 24 hours, thanks to God's amazing provision and plan, he was given a new name, a future and a hope. What a blessing that God could show us a perfect picture of His gospel through giving us a son.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Summer is on its way out

2011-09-22T09:14:00.001-05:00

So, since it's almost fall (though it doesn't feel like it here in Texas), I figured I should finally write an update on our summer. I'll put some pictures below of some of our fun summer activities. We didn't take any big trips this summer to try to keep things a little more on an even keel for Jian and help him continue to settle in. We took a few weekend trips, but mostly stayed around home. Jian and Tanner both attended swimming lessons, (Jian looked like he'd been swimming for years even though these were his first lessons), Jian attended basketball camp, a football camp, and strength and conditioning camp. We tried to keep him busy with activities!

The boys have started school and are doing great! Tanner is loving being in 4th grade at his new elementary school (the deaf ed program moved from one school in the district to another), and Jian is doing great in the 8th grade. He's thrilled to be playing football and he's extremely motivated to do well in school so that he can continue playing sports! We're so thankful that he's motivated on his own and wants to do well in class to continue playing football.

We're looking forward to celebrating Jian's 1 year adoption and his 15th birthday next week!! More on that soon!

Swimming lessons and looking cool!

Having fun at a lake in Denton with the Livingston family

Cooling off in Denton

After our caterpillars became butterflies, we let them go

Jian's first time skiing at Lake Whitney

Tubing on Lake Whitney by Grandma and Grandpa Bergeron's house

Helping Grandpa Bergeron drive the boat

Jian ready to do some skiing with the cousins

Tanner loved riding in the boat and watching everyone tube and ski

Having fun fishing at our neighborhood lake. This is Jian's new favorite activity.

1st day of school 2011!

Having fun when Grandpa and Grandma Lenger came to visit!

Enjoying his fans

Going in for the tackle

Jian's first football game

We were made for more than this....

2011-08-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy summer, we've been having fun doing a lot of activities (I'll post some pictures one of these days - maybe after school starts :)), trying to stay cool (we've had very little rain and many 100+ degree days), and trying to continue to learn how to live with each other.

We have had Jian for 10 months. WOW! 10 months! A year ago right now we were still very unsure whether we would even have a new son! Some days it feels like he's always been with us, and some days it feels like we're living with a stranger. I'm sure he thinks the same thing :). Maybe this is what all parents of teenagers think, but, wow, God has sure called us to learn to be more dependent on Him! Some days, I feel like we have a 10 month-old son, some days a 5 year-old and other days, a 14 year-old going on 20.

Jian truly is a delight and makes us laugh a lot! He's great with humor and sarcasm, he loves to be active and play sports, but, he's not very good at entertaining himself! He's now able to do something on his own for about 20-30 minutes! He also still has so many things to learn/unlearn! Some days it's so overwhelming to think about all the things to teach/re-teach in the short time we have with him, but I try to remember it's not our responsibility to make sure what he learns for the future, it's our responsibility to parent him today, to teach him what we can for today, to show him love, discipline, and patience, and to point him to his Creator, just for today!

I've heard it said that to teach a child something new they need to see/hear it @8,000 times. I've wondered, when you're re-teaching something, how many more times do you have to show them, 10,000 more?

I'm reminded daily of my limits as a human and as a parent. I sometimes think about how hypocritical I seem trying to teach him how to live when I don't always do the same! God has definitely humbled me and helped me to see how much I need Him because this is not something we could do without His guidance!

So, as if you couldn't tell, we've had some rough days lately, but, those rough days are becoming easier and Jian handles them better than he did 6 and 8 months ago. Some days it helps a lot to talk about China. We talk about the orphanage, his past, his history, and how difficult it is growing up for 14 years without a family, without someone teaching you, without boundaries, and then, having all of that along with a new culture, new home, new language and more.

We're all improving again and feeling better, but, some of us are really ready for school to start again (20 days if we were counting)! Some days a constant shadow gets a little tiring, but, I'm also thankful he wants to be nearby. It's great to have his perspective and see the things he's teaching us.

Last night, after a very poignant conversation with Jian at the dinner table, I said to Jon, I don't know how I can be so irritated and frustrated with him at times like this, when I look back and realize he's only been here 10 months and says things like this! (The conversation was about wanting to go back to China and tell his friends about God - and how God is the REAL and only God, that their idols will not help them, and that God loves them no matter what they do (this is a brief summary of the discussion)).

So, despite the frustrations and irritations, and wanting to get away and have some alone time around 5:30pm every day (well, maybe starting around 4 or so :)), we recognize and remember that we are truly blessed, and also that this is real life. It's not easy and there's no way around it to make it any easier, except digging in and going through the hard times. I often try to find answers in books (there are definitely helpful ones out there), articles, other parents, but forget so easily that there's not 1 answer and there are no easy answers, it would definitely be convenient, but, then it would make me think I'm doing something great instead of relying on The Answer and the One who can get us through! The hard days remind me that we were made for more than this - that this world is not our home! And on the good days, I'm thankful that our future home is one where we'll all be together again praising the One who created our family and created THE family!

A Big God in a Small World!

2011-07-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago our family went to Austin to Family Weekend Retreat at Texas School for the Deaf. This is an annual event for families in Texas with children who are deaf. We've gone for the last 5 or 6 years and this was Jian's first year to attend. When we arrived, we ran into a lady that we've seen every year and who used to work with Tanner when he was about 2-3 years old before we ever had him. She always loves to see him and how much he's grown and how different he is! It's great to see her and several other teachers that remember him from his life before he lived with us. So, this teacher met Jian for the first time and told us about another boy that lived in the area and was adopted from China and is deaf. She contacted his family to see if they were interested in coming to TSD to meet Jian.

We all had a great time on Friday - Jian did great with the teenage group (though he was nervous at first, he did great and found a couple of friends that he hung around with for the rest of the weekend), Tanner had fun with his group and we enjoyed the meetings. Friday evening was family game night and the teacher came over and told us the boy she had told us about would be coming. He came in with his dad and the boys were chatting and we talked about his adoption 10 years ago. After a few minutes, we were all shaking our heads as we realized these boys were from the same orphanage and must have lived together 10 years ago, prior to the young man's adoption at the age of 4. They realized that they might have pictures of Jian from that time and their trip to the orphanage in December of 2000. We were all so excited and shocked at the seemingly unbelievable news that these 2 boys in Austin, Texas actually lived together at an orphanage in Nanjing, China 10 years before. The boys enjoyed chatting, and we kept trying to wrap our minds around this news. Jian was so excited and couldn't wait to see if there were pictures of him. This is something that he's talked about before, his disappointment at not having any pictures of himself as a baby or as a boy. The earliest picture we have of him was at about age 9 or 10. He loves looking at other people's family pictures and I always feel sad for him knowing we will never have the same for him.

Saturday morning, I checked my e-mail again, and lo and behold, there were TWO pictures of Jian at age 4!!! He was beyond thrilled and wanted to show them to everyone. It's so clear that the pictures are of Jian!

We're so thankful for such an amazing God that we serve. He gave Jian these 2 pictures of him as a boy. In the grand scheme of things, these are not a big deal, but, to this boy who lived 14 years without a family and has a history that only he and God knows, they are a precious gift. What a beautiful gift from a loving Father!

Here are the pictures!

Jian - age 4 - on the far left in the blue coat

Jian - December, 2000 - age 4 (on the right)

Isn't he so precious??

A Beautiful Goodbye

2011-06-12T21:44:00.001-05:00

A little over two weeks ago, I flew to Michigan in anticipation of the death of my Grandma DeKorne. I arrived at the hospital on Wednesday afternoon and Grandma opened her eyes and knew I was there. This was a beautiful answer to prayer, as I was hoping to see her again before she passed away. For the next day and a half her family sat around her bedside and reminisced, laughed, enjoyed being together, and waited. On Friday morning, May 27, 2011, it looked like her time on earth was nearing an end. We stood around her bed preparing to sing one of her favorite songs “Blessed Assurance” when she peacefully took her last breath and entered eternity with her Savior. One moment I was touching my grandmother, and the next, I wasn’t, as she was now only the body of my grandmother. What a beautiful experience, to be with her as she went from her earthly home, after 92 years, to her heavenly home. She was home with my grandfather, her husband of 68 years, and with her Creator, Savior and Lord of her life.

Though I will miss this beautiful woman, who loved deeply and shared her life with many, what a joy it is to know she’s worshiping in Heaven and that I will see her again one day.

What an amazing example she has been to me. She volunteered for many years in many capacities. She helped pregnant women who called looking for alternatives to abortion. She was a chaplain at area hospitals, praying for and serving others. She led Bible studies, and loved and helped people from foreign countries that came to Grand Rapids. Grandma (and grandpa) also faithfully prayed for me throughout my life. She always asked about and prayed for both Jian and Tanner. She loved hearing about our son from China – a country that my grandpa dearly loved since he grew up there.

I have many wonderful memories of her. Going to the circus, playing “office” at their house, her bran muffins with sliced cheddar cheese, and her smile. She was a lovely person both inside and out and I’m so very thankful for her and her investment in my life. And now, I’m so thankful knowing that she’s spending all of her time, fulfilling the chorus of one of her favorite songs:

“This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior, all the day long.”

Jian’s Journey Part II

2011-05-06T22:47:00.001-05:00

So, our dossier (our file of important papers) was sent to China on August 11, 2010!! The order things were done was very different due to the urgency of this adoption. Once our dossier was accepted by China (meaning they approved that we could adopt Jian), looking at the list of the steps left to complete was very daunting! Then, August 20, we received our letter and picture that we had to sign agreeing to adopt Jian Feng, I hurried to Jon’s office so we could sign, and then we could send in the form to US immigration for Jian to become our son. At this point, we & our agency were more concerned that things would not be completed on time, but were continuing to trust in God’s timing. There were still multiple steps to be completed with each one having a processing time ranging between 2 weeks to 2 months!

Also on August 20, our agency received a package that we had sent to be delivered to Jian Feng! Some of them were going to Jian’s orphanage and delivered this to him. This was the first he heard of us! Since we still did not know if the adoption would take place, we wrote a short letter (that was translated into Chinese) that indicated we were hoping to meet him soon. We also sent family pictures and some signs in ASL (Mom, Dad, brother, deaf, family). He received this a few weeks before we were there. They sent us a video and pictures of the day he received this package. We love reminiscing with him about this, what he remembers and watching the video of him practicing the ASL signs! Here are a few of the pictures from that day!

September 1 we received approval from USCIS (US Immigration) that we were approved to bring Jian in as our son into the US. Our agency sent us an e-mail that this was the biggest hurdle and it may be a record how fast this came through (We loved seeing God’s hand all over this)! On September 3, we put a hold on 3 tickets to China! We also called the NVC (National Visa Center) to see when Jian’s visa could be processed (this must be done before they could do other required processing). We were told it would be a few weeks! My heart sank. After explaining the situation, we received a supervisor’s name and e-mail and I immediately sent a message there. It is now 26 days until Jian’s birthday, and the 6^th is Labor day, so everything will be closed. We also were aware that the Visa process can take weeks to months to process.

September 7 we received an e-mail that the visa was approved and was on it’s way to the US consulate in China! After hanging up the phone, we called the travel agent and purchased 4 tickets – 3 to go to China and 4 to return. At this point we thought everything was complete, until we talked to our agency. We realized there was one more hurdle. We needed to wait for our article 5, official approval to adopt. This comes after our paperwork is delivered to the US Consulate in Guangzhou. This paperwork can only be delivered on a Monday or Thursday and can be picked up exactly 2 weeks after it’s dropped off. We discussed again that we might be taking a family vacation to China, and returning with our family of 3. Thankfully, God’s overwhelming peace continued to cover us and help us remember that He was in complete control!

September 9 we received a call that our Article 5 was completed in one day!!! Another miracle! Now it was official, as long as all flights and everything else went as scheduled, we would be bringing home Jian Feng Lee Bergeron! At this point, we did not have our official travel notice, so, we would possibly need to stay a little longer in China since this was needed to complete his visa, but, that was not a problem since the adoption would be completed.

By September 20, all of the rest of our remaining official paperwork was received. We heard on this day, that we would be meeting Jian on Saturday, September 25^th and his adoption would be complete on September 26^th – 3 days before his 14^th birthday!

We learned from our agency that from the time our dossier was sent to the time we received travel notice was a new record for them.

What a mighty God, who cares about even the smallest details and is able to accomplish His work using many people, agencies and governments! We praise God for all of the people and organizations He used to accomplish the task of bringing a boy from China home to his family in America!

What a difference a year makes!

2011-05-05T12:59:00.000-05:00

A year ago today, May 5, 2010, a friend had forwarded me an e-mail. It had been forwarded to her, and 4 other people forwarded it before that. This is the e-mail we received:

Subject: Urgent---family needed to adopt deaf 13yo boy---please pass along

JF is a handsome, well-behaved 13 year old boy that is deaf and he uses sign language to communicate. He goes to a special school for the deaf. He is known to be very smart even though his grades are not the highest. He is described as being a very energetic child who loves sports and is good at basketball and skateboarding. He is also very good at the computer and participating in online chat groups. He is a tall boy who is responsible, independent and confident, taking the bus or riding his bike by himself to school. He helps the younger children and enjoys helping with chores. We were told his behavior is very good. He lives in a foster home with foster parents and five other children from the orphanage. When the foster father goes to work, he is one who is responsible for watching the other children and enjoys doing so. He is very envious of others who have been adopted. He needs a family to love and enable him to reach his full potential before he is 14 years old – when he becomes ineligible for international adoption. He has waited too many years already, and has been passed over so many times for adoption. He desperately needs a family who can recognize his many qualities before it is too late.

This was the first we heard about the young man who would become our son. We had been discussing on and off whether we would adopt or foster again. The biggest concern was always Tanner’s health. Would we be able to take care of his needs along with another child, and would both children get what they needed while dealing with Tanner’s issues? We had always assumed it would be a younger child in which those issues would be more of a concern, we hadn’t really considered an older child. We also hadn’t really considered international adoption either. In fact, on the day we received the above e-mail, I had decided (on my own) that we would never adopt internationally, it was too much paperwork and too expensive – but, clearly God had other plans. Another interesting (actually, providential) memory was from March, 2010. Jon and his sister were discussing investments one evening and a little bit later, I clearly felt God saying “why not invest in the life of a child?” Hmmmm, I hadn’t really considered that, and really didn’t think about that again until much later!

So, I forwarded the e-mail to Jon and he responded that we should pray about it. I didn’t think twice about it since I had already decided we wouldn’t adopt internationally. A few days later, Jon asked what I thought about it – I replied “nothing.” We decided to contact the agency that was listed in the e-mail to see if this was even something that was real (we had considered that it was several years old or that maybe not even true), and found out it was true. They asked us several questions right away to make sure we were pre-pre qualified (yes, that’s correct – pre-pre) for China to consider us as adoptive parents. There are a lot of other little details, but, basically, we started praying that God would make it very clear if we were to adopt this boy or not. We asked for Him to open and close doors if this adoption was to take place. We also knew, from day one, that if this was to happen, it would truly be a miracle since we had found out that Jian’s birthday was September 29^th and he needed to be adopted prior to that day (his 14^th birthday). WACAP (our adoption agency) reminded us many times that they would do everything they could to keep things moving, but, that if things did not happen in the right time, the adoption wouldn’t go through. All along, we were ok with this because we could feel and see God’s hand guiding this process. Up until the Thursday before we left for China, we knew that it was still a possibility that the adoption would not happen.

On May 11, 2010 we received some information from our agency, along with this, our first picture of Qin, Jian Feng.

Qin, Jian Feng 11/1/09

AAAHHHH, what a great smile, what a handsome boy! Could this possibly be our son??

So, we began our seemingly endless paperwork (I wish I’d counted how many pieces of paper we filled out J) including requesting an urgent homestudy. This included our pre-pre-approval paperwork, our pre-approval paperwork and then lots of papers for the US immigration and Chinese government as well. Thankfully we had a homestudy done several years before for Tanner’s adoption and prior to that to become foster parents, so, we only needed an international homestudy update. We were interviewed for the homestudy on May 22, 2010, and four months later we were on a plane to China!

There were many steps to complete in the meantime. We gathered the required documents and had to have them authenticated by the state and by the Chinese consulate. This entailed several trips to Austin, Houston and the Fed Ex office.

On July 15, 2010, we finally received our appointment for fingerprinting, scheduled for August 6, 2010. After calling WACAP, we found out that this would be too late for everything else to be completed on time and that unless we could get in earlier, there was no point in continuing the process. We were disappointed, but, were confident in God’s plans. Well, our friends, Paul and Robin Pennington who started Hope for Orphans, are very familiar with the adoption process and informed us that our congressman could help us to get our fingerprints done quickly. We called our congressman, Chet Edward’s office, even though our agency thought it wasn’t a good idea. I left a message and didn’t expect a call back until it was too late. Two hours later we received a call, asking for information. Before I had even finished scanning our papers to send her, she called back letting us know we could go to Houston that afternoon before 3pm. Jon had been able to rearrange his schedule and we were on our way. We also found out later, that at the same time I was talking with the congressman’s office, a friend of Jon’s parents was praying for us and the fingerprinting (we had let our families know the night before about the situation). We walked into the office in Houston and were greeted warmly and told they had been waiting for us. WOW!!! God was showing us how He can accomplish anything that He wants to, no boundaries are too great.

There were several more steps that went through very quickly, but, we had many more to go at this point, and it often seemed overwhelming and unmanageable. Amazingly, God continued to give us an overwhelming peace about whatever happened, either way! We were often reminded that God knew before the world began who this boy’s family was, and if it wasn’t us, He had a better plan!

Since this has become so long, I thought it would be best to post it in several parts - I will post part 2 of Jian's Journey tomorrow!

Ten years ago….

2011-05-04T17:49:00.000-05:00

Ten years ago, Friday, May 4, 2001 at 7:41am at a hospital in Smithville, Texas, a little boy was born. Around this time, Jon was probably working on his dissertation and I was at the office for the doctor I worked for (or possibly stuck in Dallas traffic). We knew nothing of this birth, or how it would forever change our lives 3 1/2 years later!
Today, we celebrate Tanner's 10th birthday, and 3 days ago, we celebrated his adoption day that occurred 4 years ago. We love May, and all the celebrations that it brings. What a gift God has given us and what joy Tanner has brought to our lives.
This last year has brought about many changes; Tanner has grown several inches and is getting so tall! He still loves to play with his cars and airplanes, loves playing Challenger baseball and this year, enjoys trying to be like his new big brother! This last year Tanner has become slower in his communication, and weaker than he used to be, but continues to have an attitude of cheerfulness and joy.
Tanner's choice for dinner tonight is Atami, a Japanese Hibachi restaurant (they cook in front of you on a grill - it's very entertaining), so we're all looking forward to that. He was excited to get a new hamster this morning (since the other one disappeared, no really, it actually disappeared!) and to celebrate more tonight.
On the health front, Tanner has had a migraine for more than a week now. He's been tired and feeling out of sorts, and we're hoping that he'll get back to feeling better again sometime soon!
We're praying for a good next year for Tanner. A year that is filled with joy, love, learning, and growth and many more memories.
Happy 10th Birthday Tanner!!

Anniversaries and Activities

2011-04-17T22:34:00.001-05:00

On March 26 we celebrated Jian’s 6 month adoption anniversary. We had fun eating Chinese food (his request) and talking about what happened 6 months before. We laughed looking at pictures and Jian’s description of his feelings (nervous because he couldn’t understand us, excited about his future). We talked about all the changes we’ve seen in the last 6 months (his physical growth, more mature, language (ASL and English)), and are so proud and amazed at all of the things he’s learned in this short time. He wants to learn, he wants to be good, he wants to please. We’re truly so blessed with an amazing son (well, two amazing sons :)). Some days are tiring, hard, frustrating and difficult, but, knowing only a few of the things he’s experienced and habits that have been developed, cultural differences, and basically raising himself for 14 years, help us to get through those rough days and remind us that 6 months truly is such a short time to make so many changes!

We’ve had a busy spring so far, so, here are a few pictures and details of what we’ve been up to lately.

Tanner’s Challenger baseball season started a couple of weeks ago. They were able to go on A&M’s Olson Field joining in the Little League Opening Ceremonies.

One of his favorite activities is sliding into home plate!

We recently went to Isaiah’s Place for a deaf retreat. It was Jian’s first time there and he loved the open space, the animals, his first horse ride, and we loved seeing him around many deaf people (children, adults, families) that helped him see that deaf people really can do anything! Tanner loved showing Jian around, and playing with old and new friends.

Jian started tennis at school and played in his first tennis tournament yesterday. He won his first game and lost the 2nd. God has truly gifted him athetlically! He did great (though he was disappointed that he lost) especially since he has never played tennis before coming to America! Here are a few pictures from the tournament.

A couple of weeks ago we went to our first A&M baseball game with some friends and our kids were able to run out on the field with the players! Here they are joining in the Aggie War Hymn before the game started.

We’re also anxiously awaiting for our baby ducklings to hatch (Jian was concerned we were taking them away from their parents, but, we explained that after hatching at the pond, the ducklings often die, and he was happy that the would raise them and then will release them at the lake).

Last week I brought Jian with me to a meeting with our local animal assisted therapy organization. There were a couple of juvenile detention officers speaking about helping the children there with animals. Jian asked a lot of questions, and upon leaving he told me “When I grow up, maybe I’ll work there, they would be surprised to find out that before I didn’t have a mom and dad, and I could help the children.” This brought tears to my eyes!

Tanner is doing well lately. The headache specialist at the Cleveland Clinic has added in a new medication and it seems to be making a difference on his daily chronic headaches. He’s been perkier and has more energy than he’s had in quite a while. We’re so thankful for the wisdom of the doctor and for medications that are helping at this time.

We’re looking forward to celebrating Easter this week. What a blessing to be able to teach Jian about the reasons we celebrate. What an honor and privilege to teach Jian about the death of Jesus on a cross, His resurrection 3 days later, and that it was done for each and every one of us so that we could live eternally with Him! He is risen, He is risen Indeed!

Two Mothers

2011-03-25T07:39:00.000-05:00

We have two sons through the gift of adoption. Adoption is an amazing gift, but, can also be a painful one at times.

We have met and spent time with the woman who gave birth to Tanner. She is a lady who loves her son but was unable to care for him. We are thankful to be given the opportunity to be his parents and thankful to her for giving birth to him. We are thankful to tell him about her and remind him how special he is because he's adopted.

Jian also has 2 mothers. One of them is a woman who gave birth to him and spent about 3 months of his life with him before leaving him at a train station. This woman gave him a name, but, one we will never know. This woman bore him through labor and pain, for how long, we'll never know. This woman fed him, wiped his tears, clothed him, had dreams for him, loved him, and..... abandoned him. We will never know why she chose to do this, but, the fact that she left a note with him tells me she cared for him, that because he was deaf, she was unable to keep him. I like to think she watched and waited (like Moses' sister Miriam did when he was put in a basket on the Nile River (see Exodus 2)), through tears until the police came to bring him to the social welfare institute. I believe that her love for him and her knowledge of her country's beliefs about those with disabilities caused her fear for his future and led her to believe she had no choice. Though she may have felt she had no choice, it has had, and will always have, long-lasting effects on our son. Not only did he miss out on having his mother, but, she missed out on an amazing son. She probably never saw him smile. She never saw his first tooth, or heard his laugh. She never watched him start to crawl or take his first steps, or kiss his scraped knees. She never worried over a fever or soothed him after a nightmare. She never saw the scared and nervous boy who's now a teenager and desperately trying to be a man. I wonder, does she think of this boy, our son? Does she wonder where he is now and what he's doing? Does she realize that his life has been a difficult one because of the choices she's made?

These choices made by this woman whom we will never know, has forever changed our lives. Because of these choices, Jian has had to grow up for 14 years without a mother. He's had to grow up without security, without a gentle touch and without his mother's arms to sooth him. He's had to learn to rely on himself because no one else was going to take care of him. He's had to teach himself how to ride a bike, with no daddy holding on to the seat cheering him on.

Because of these choices, our son struggles with learning that rules mean something, that we're teaching him because we love him and want what's best for him. He's learning he doesn't have to fight with everyone for everything, and that the things he has are truly his, no one will take them from him. Because of these choices, his emotional development is significantly behind his physical development and we often have to remind ourselves that this 14-year-old boy is really a scared, fearful 3-year-old boy who doesn't know how to trust.

Because of these choices, our family needs to rearrange schedules and leave places and miss out on planned events, because he hasn't learned how to control his emotions or even what those emotions are or mean.

Because of these choices, we sometimes sit in his room, while I talk to these birth parents, and tell them how much he's hurting because they left him. I tell them that he thinks they're mean for "throwing him away" and that he's had to grow up for 14 years not being taught how to act, and now it's so hard! He is unable to talk to them, but, seems relieved that I do. I tell them that something very good came from them leaving him there, and I'm thankful, but, so sorry for all the years he was without. Sometimes, we sit in his room and he asks me to "talk to baby Jian" and I pretend I knew him 14 years ago, and try to show him the love and care he missed out on, while he looks on longingly.

I know that our Heavenly Father had always planned for this young man to be a part of our family, and that this was part of his plan and part of his story, but, the pain that goes with it, for everyone involved, can be hard. Thankfully, I'm reminded of Psalm 30:5b "weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning."

Sometimes I stay awake and wonder, does his other mother still cry for him too?

What a survivor he is. Jian is so fearful and yet so brave. He's so torn and yet and so strong. He has such a story to tell, and we're excited to see what God has planned. I pray that his Heavenly Father, who will never let him down, will start replacing that emptiness and sadness with love and trust. And that he comforts Jian Feng to the depths of his soul.

A Son and a Brother

2011-02-27T20:13:00.000-06:00

Before we ever went to China, we discussed what it might be like to raise a teenager that had never lived in our home (or in any home). We had many hopes and dreams, many fears and uncertainties. We hoped for him to assimilate well into our family. We hoped he would learn quickly. We hoped he would be happy in America. We hoped he would like having us as his family. We hoped he would be happy to be adopted. We hoped for many, many things. But, we often said, the one and only thing we could really hope for and that would be the most important, above all else, is that we hoped he would come to know his Maker as his personal Lord and Savior.

Well, friends, our greatest dream has come true. Who would have ever thought it would happen so soon, less than 5 months after being adopted. While still learning a new language, learning to adjust to a new home, new family, new food, new country, our God has become His God. Our Father has become his Father. We not only have a new son, we also have a new brother in Christ.

Jian has told us that on his own, a while back, after reading "the blue book" (a Chinese Bible given to us by a friend), he asked Jesus into his heart while in bed one night. Because he's used to being independent and not having people care about him, he didn't realize this was a big deal and something we would want to know! We're so thrilled that God has answered our prayers. In a much bigger way, and much sooner than we could have ever imagined.

At least weekly (and often more), Jian tells us, "I didn't know about God before, when I was in China, no one taught me about God, but, now I know He is real." And, today, he took communion for the first time, and was able to explain what it meant and what it symbolizes. What a special day. What a mighty God we serve.

Our weeks in review

2011-02-15T22:00:00.001-06:00

So, as I was sitting in the hospital Saturday, I was thinking about our past couple of weeks and all that has transpired.

It began on Monday, January 31st. Jon left for Hawaii to go to a conference and visit his sister and brother-in-law in Honolulu.

Before his plane ever left I heard from school that Jian was having a rough day. Before Jon arrived, Jian had to be picked up from school early and Tanner’s school called to let me know he had a probable ear infection. (Nope, this wasn’t the reason we were at the hospital :)). Jian had a rough afternoon as well and settled down after seeing Dad on Skype, safely in Hawaii. It was rough for him not experiencing someone leave and come back, , so it was a hard time for him. Thankfully, the rest of the week was better!

Tuesday morning I awoke at 4:30am to what sounded like the house falling down. There was a terrible thunderstorm with winds up to 70mph! Our neighbors had a tree uprooted in their backyard! We had lots of branches in the yard and trash all over, but, no real damage. My mom was supposed to come from Michigan Tuesday night, and the kids were so excited, but, there was a blizzard in Michigan and high winds in Houston, so, her flight was cancelled.

Wednesday morning, I awoke to no water. The weather had become frigid (just in time for mom to come from up north), and despite making sure the pipes were wrapped and the water dripping, the pipes froze! I decided to deal with it later as the boys had eye doctor appointments in Temple that morning. They dealt with the lack of water without any problems and tolerated the four hours in the car back and forth to Temple very well! Before leaving, I contacted our neighbor to see if they had water, they did (confirming it was our pipes). She kindly offered to help thaw them while I was gone, so I left her my hairdryer and a small space heater that she connected to a couple of extension cords to get to the pipe in the front yard. This was so incredibly generous of her since it was about 18 degrees outside! We had good reports in Temple and enjoyed a nice Chinese lunch with our friend Lisa to celebrate Chinese New Year. Upon arriving home, I heard the details that our neighbor had to endure to get our water running again! My hairdryer overheated starting a fire in our very dry front yard covered with leaves from last fall and…..no running water. With the help of another neighbor walking by, they put out the fire and got the water running again! (Still, not the reason we were at the hospital). After calling the plumber and determining what was the best option for keeping the pipes from freezing, I re-wrapped the outside pipes and kept the water running (not just dripping!) all night long.

My mom’s flight had been rescheduled for Wednesday evening & she finally arrived in College Station about 12:30am Thursday – yippee!!

Thursday was a great day! Mom and I rested at home, enjoyed running water and heat and the boys loved having Grandma in town. The weather was predicted to be bad on Friday, so school was scheduled for a 2 hour delay on Thursday evening, the boys were excited about this, except….Jon was supposed to be flying into Houston Friday morning.

Friday….we woke up to beautiful snow! There was a layer of ice underneath it so school was cancelled for the day! This seemed like a great idea in the morning, but, by afternoon, I was wishing school was back on! We did lots of crafts and games, but, the boys didn’t love the “sitting in front of the fire all day” idea.

So, Jon arrived safely into Houston, but, was stuck there. The shuttle he was to ride home was cancelled for the morning. The roads were too bad to try to venture to Houston to pick him up. The temperature was not supposed to get above freezing, so, we were trying to come up other solutions. The afternoon shuttle was cancelled, and the roads had not improved, so, he decided to take a flight from Houston to College Station. Around 12 hours after he flew into Houston, Jon finally arrived home. The boys were thrilled to see their dad again!

Saturday we had a nice, warm, day. We were able to drive to Dallas to surprise our friends’ Mike and Cathy at their 40th anniversary party! While there Jon’s back became worse (it’s been bothering him for a while and was not great in Hawaii either), and he had a hard time riding home. From then on, he was in bed unable to walk, sit, or stand for the next 5 days. On Thursday, he started developing weakness and increased numbness, so, Friday afternoon he saw a neurosurgeon and Saturday morning he had surgery on a herniated disc to relieve the pressure on the nerves. THAT was why we were in the hospital. He was home by 1pm and was so relieved that the pain was gone. He still has weakness and numbness (could remain for several months), so we’re praying that it will dissipate, and that it will happen soon.

SO, hopefully we’ll be back to our regular programming soon, regular, more boring updates that do not include freezing weather, no water, fires or hospitals!

Some Days are Hard!

2011-01-10T21:55:00.000-06:00

Well, as you can see by the sparse updates, I'm not on the computer much anymore these days! Our lives continue to be full, mostly with family time!

We enjoyed our Christmas break, but, we also enjoyed being back home and getting into a routine again!

We've had some hard days over the last few weeks. Thankfully they're spread out and are not one after the other. We knew these days would come (and why wouldn't they?). Jian has had so much to adjust to, a new country, new home, new food, new routines, new rules, new holidays, and on and on. Some days we wonder why he seems to only focus on himself and can't see other things going on around him, then, we laugh and wonder, why would he? He's grown up in an orphanage for 14 years and had to learn how to survive on his own! Our friend Charity made me laugh when I was telling her about some our rough days, she joked, "well, it's his own fault, if he hadn't been so good the first 3 months....."

So, our bad days are not horrible, but, just hard. They have involved tears, tension, anger, frustration and more. Thankfully, Jian has always been pretty good at being able to communicate his feelings after things have settled down and is able to learn and apologize! He really is an amazing boy! Some days we're exhausted and tired thinking of all of the things to teach him, so many things that need to be re-learned, or taught, after growing up without a family, but, at the end of the day, I'm reminded of the great privilege it is that God has chosen us to be the family to teach him!

These days often remind me of my behavior towards God! I am just as much (or more) rebellious, defiant and unkind as Jian is to my Heavenly Father - and I'm so very grateful to continually be forgiven and loved! Truthfully, Jian's hard days are much more few and far between than mine are! There is a lot of laughter and joy that permeates our home as well. We love to watch the boys enjoy each other and communicate so well together, it gives us special, fun memories.

Tanner has had a couple of hard weeks as well, but his have been physically. He's had a couple of migraines, one requiring an ER visit for medication to stop the vomiting. He used to really perk up after these visits, but, that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. He's not felt well for quite a while, but, continues to live life with a smile on his face and joy in his heart. He really loves his brother, and he continues to be a wonderful example to us of how to live with suffering!

So, thankfully, the last several days have been good ones, and we know there will be more hard ones to come, but, we're grateful for a gracious heavenly Father who helps us get through them, and gives us a brand new start each and every day, to try all over again!

Merry Christmas and our 3-month-old

2010-12-25T20:30:00.000-06:00

We've had a wonderful Christmas (that started last weekend with Jon's family, continued this weekend with my (Shelly's) family and will end next week after we're back home with our immediate family Christmas. It's been fun for Jian to experience all of this family time - it's been a little rough at time, learning how to be a part of a family, but, he's been adjusting so well and enjoying gifts, games, food and fun.

We have many reasons to celebrate today, three months ago today we added a new son to our family. We talked about it with Jian and how he was nervous and he was surprised to hear that we were nervous too! We also celebrate the birth of another son, Jesus, who was born so that he could die to save us and allow us all to be adopted into His family. What a special and memorable day.

Merry Christmas!

A Delightful December

2010-12-21T23:24:00.001-06:00

Well, my goal was to get these pictures on before Christmas, and it looks like I will succeed in doing that! We’ve had a good and busy December. Here are some fun pictures of Jian’s first December in America.

Jian has continued to do amazingly well. Some days though, are rough. He is not used to boundaries or rules, of course, 14 years in an orphanage, why would we think he would? He wants to learn and wants to please. He’s a true joy. Some days, it’s really frustrating and feels like it’s all about reminders, corrections, apologies and re-teaching. Thankfully, he’s not purposefully mean or deceitful most of the time, it’s just lack of knowledge! We’re also so happy with how honest he can be about what he’s feeling and why he’s upset. What a true blessing that is, and helps to try to resolve some problems. He still requires a lot of supervision as he’s learning what he can and can’t do, and how to behave appropriately. Most days, I’m so tired at the end of the day, but, it’s a good feeling going to bed knowing our two sons are right where they’re supposed to be. Most days, it’s hard to remember that he hasn’t always been a part of our family. The great thing about that is that,he always has, it was always in God’s plan, he just didn’t join our family until this year!

We are all looking forward to some time in Michigan this Christmas and are excited to experience Jian’s first Christmas in America. It’s been a real joy showing him the real reason we celebrate Christmas and having evening Advent readings together and seeing him learn more and more every day, what an honor to be chosen to teach him these things.

Still working on writing about Jian’s adoption…..someday it will be finished! So, here are our December pictures!

Tanner’s tree preference, Here’s the tree we chose Our 2010 Christmas tree

Both boys enjoyed participating in the annual Christmas program for the Brazos Valley Regional Day School for the Deaf

Our annual skating with Santa! Jian LOVED his first time ice skating, and was quite a natural!

We wish you a blessed and wonderful Christmas!

Thankful and Thanksgiving

2010-12-07T20:27:00.001-06:00

I’m a little behind, but, still thankful! Unfortunately I took no pictures of our Thanksgiving dinner! We had a great traditional Thanksgiving with our friends, the Boysen family. Jian thought the food was ok – the rest of us loved it. We then left Thursday evening to go camping with Jon’s family and to celebrate one of Jon’s cousins marriage.

Here are some pictures of Jian’s first camping trip. We were thankful for electricity and heaters since it was around 30 degrees a couple of nights!

Jian and his Great-Grandpa Olson

We’re so thankful to have a new son to teach about Thanksgiving. We’re thankful he’s adjusting so well and a joy to have around. We’re thankful that Jian is asking a lot of questions about His Savior and often tells Jesus thank you for his new parents that brought him to America! We’re thankful for 2 sons who have a lot of fun no matter what they’re doing and that they love each other.

We also cut down and set up our Christmas tree….I’ll try to get to that post before Christmas actually happens!

Precious!!

2010-11-17T21:11:00.000-06:00

Today I was explaining adoption to a teenager (who made the comment that I was not Jian's "real mom" :)). I explained how I am his real mom, regardless of whether or not I gave birth to him. Then, Jian asked me what we were saying (he was behind me and saw half of my conversation). So, I did, and his response was this: "In China I didn't have a mom or dad, now I have a mom and dad, God helped me to get a mom and dad. Thank you God for giving me a mom and dad!"

WOW - can you get any more precious than that? I had a bit of a hard time finding my way to the car through my tears!

A Party and a Plan

2010-11-11T22:38:00.000-06:00

Wow, time sure does slip away quickly! I can't believe it's the middle of November already. We'll have been home for 4 weeks already tomorrow, and we've been a family of 4 for 7 weeks! In many ways it seems as though we've always been a family and seems strange to have done many things without Jian!

My parents came from Michigan to meet Jian - and we all had a great time together. I can't believe I never got a picture of them all together, but, maybe that's because Jian rarely stands still. We enjoyed several days together, and I appreciated them spending time with Jian giving me a little break to clean, do laundry, and rest, as well as them taking us out to eat for several meals.

Grandpa and Jian playing footall

Grandpa and Tanner enjoying watching football

Grandma and the boys baking cookies.

Last week some generous and wonderful friends had a special welcome home party for Jian. It made him feel so special and loved. We feel tremendously blessed and overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and kindness. Such wonderful memories! Check out this picture, thanks Kathy Johnson for these great shirts - the boys LOVED them!

Below is a slideshow of pictures from that fun day.

So, things are really still going amazingly well. We praise God for his amazing provisions for us. Our communication is continuing to improve and Jian is settling in so well. He's doing great at school in the mornings and really motivated to learn both at home and at school. We're doing a lot of teaching, re-directing, correcting, modeling, etc. to show him appropriate behavior, proper ways to respond, etc. He responds so well to these things and we're very thankful for that. He hasn't said much about missing anyone until yesterday. He mentioned several times that he missed his chinese parents (the people who would take him home from the orphanage on weekends). He wrote them a letter and brought up several times about missing them, it's sad for him to miss them, yet good that he had bonded with them and so good that he is missing them.

Overall we're doing well, some days are more exhausting than others, and some days are much easier. One day this week I was thinking how much easier an infant would be. Later, I reminded myself that at least I don't have to get up in the middle of the night with Jian :) and, that it may seem easier to me at the moment, but, that has not been God's plan for our life (and easier is definitely a relative term.)

I love seeing him really begin to understand and comprehend things, it's so exciting. Today Jian asked me what he would do for work when he grows up. After explaining that he could do whatever he wanted to do, he replied that he couldn't get a job in China because he was deaf or that he would clean streets. He's correct. He could hardly believe that he could do any job. What a blessing that we can live in this country where we truly can do almost anything we want, and that God brought him to us. It's so exciting to think about the possibilities that God has planned for his future.

OK, well, I still want to get to writing Jian's story before the adoption, and we've even recently learned more about others praying for him before we ever knew about him - how phenomenal is that?! What a generous, gracious heavenly Father who loves this boy so much more than we ever could.

" "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

A Fun Fall

2010-11-02T09:34:00.000-05:00

So, we've been enjoying the nice cool weather and showing Jian the fun fall activities we do here. He's enjoyed everything so far, his first rodeo, carving pumpkins, attending the Grace Bible Church Country Fair, dressing up for Halloween, going on our neighborhood Halloween hay ride, and more. Here are a few pictures from these fun events.

What else has been happening? Things are still going well. Not much time for the computer, or much else for that matter :) but, really, things are still better than we could have expected. Jian is incredibly adaptable and really loves everything about being here (so far :)). Last week he was able to see on skype one of his friends from the orphanage that was adopted last year, we loved seeing his excitement at connecting with his friend.

Last Wednesday he was able to meet Grandpa and Grandma Bergeron for the first time and was so excited waiting for them to come! Here they are with Scooter.

On Friday, I brought Jian to school for the morning. We went to give him the experience and to be familiar with what school will be like. He surprised us with how well he did. So, this week, we're trying out school every morning. I went with him yesterday again and will meet him there half way through today. It helps him for me to be able to be an in-between interpreter either with signing or using an application to translate words into Chinese for him to read, or, for him to write and translate into English. We come home and work on English/reading in the afternoon. So, we're trying that out for now and will see how that goes. We're really thankful for the flexibility we have and if it doesn't work out, we have plenty of options! We're so thankful that he is enjoying school so far. In the mornings he's attending math, science and social studies in the middle school deaf education classroom.

This morning as we were waiting for the bus, I went to see what the boys were up to, here's what they were doing, drawing together - so cute!

We are all excited that Grandpa and Grandma Lenger are coming in from Michigan tomorrow to meet Jian, the boys have been counting down the days. I'm looking forward to perhaps getting a little extra rest while they're here too :). I'm surprised how tiring having 2 children and one teenager can be (go ahead and laugh at this, I'm not quite sure what I expected :)).

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family. We appreciate them and know they are making a difference in our lives! I'm hoping in the next week or so to finally write down how we came to know about Jian and our journey prior to going to China!

Coming Home Video

2010-10-26T10:10:00.000-05:00

OK, I've finally been able to download and do a little editing of the video from when we arrived home. You may want to scroll down and pause the music at the bottom since there's music with the video. We're all doing well, will update more later. We hope you enjoy the video.

Settling In

2010-10-22T12:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we went to the pumpkin patch. I really love fall and being able to decorate. I'm happy we still have some time for the fall decorations, especially when the weather is so nice and cool! Jian was really excited and said he's never carved a pumpkin before. He loved picking out his own pumpkin and looking at everything there. He kept asking if they were real. :)

Things are going well here. We're working on settling into a routine. Tanner is now back at school full time and adjusting better than I expected. I thought he would be upset to leave his brother, but, he's happy to be going to school, and we're so thankful. This morning Tanner seemed a little down and while we were in his room, I told him his brother was awake, a big grin came across his face and he turned around and gave Jian a big high-five.

Jian was pretty nervous about starting to learn english, but, now that he's started, he's doing really well and gets excited to learn something new! This should help things a lot, he definitely has motivation. We're working on finding things for him to do. Right now, he's like a giant toddler. We are following him around everywhere and helping him learn what things are as well as what things he can and cannot touch (it becomes a bit tiring :)). Yesterday we went to a craft store and found him a couple of things to do for a few days. We're doing school and then some activities (plus, giving mom a little break). As we left the store, he was able to experience what happens with a fender bender :). Two of us were backing out at the same time and rubbed bumpers. Jian was extremely nervous and couldn't believe we didn't get out and scream at each other. Once we were in the car he kept signing - that girl was so nice, she was so nice! I'm thankful it was nothing big and was a good opportunity for him.

Jian loves his dad. He can't wait to see him when Jon arrives home and is often looking at his watch to see how much longer until dad is finished with work. He likes to play with him, chat with him, and just be close to him. Clearly he's not had much male influence in his life and he has a fabulous dad to learn from.

He and Tanner enjoy riding their bikes in the backyard every afternoon. Yesterday, while they were outside, I enjoyed watching them have a conversation about their bikes. What a blessing it is to see the two of them communicating so well and to be doing something fun together. Jian is incredibly excited to go to a high school football game tonight, there's a possibility of rain, so we'll see what happens (though we can definitely use the rain here).

I'm having some trouble getting video onto here, so, I'm working on converting the file right now, I hope it works, so that you can see Jian coming home. I also am excited to post about how we found out about Jian in the first place and meeting (online) some new people that had a part in us learning about him. We love seeing God's handiwork throughout this story. We also would love to post more about our time and people we met while in China. I'm checking on the logistics of some of that and will keep you updated.

How it's going

2010-10-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a few days since I've posted. Things are a lot more busy here and there's a lot more to do. In fact, a few times, believe it or not, I've preferred to be back in China! There, we were all together, with nothing to do except figure out what to do together :). Here, Jon is back at work, there's laundry to do, a few things left to unpack, school work, paperwork, blah, blah, blah.

Anyways - yesterday, I woke up really thankful and feeling better and a little more rested. I had a great post for the blog written in my head (obviously it never got here :)). Today, was not such a great day. I woke up crabby and tired, sat for several hours with both boys at the doctors office, cried some, was irritated, and then decided I should remember what I was thankful for yesterday! So, to end the day on a better note, I thought I would list the things I would've mentioned yesterday.

I am thankful for:
Being able to drink water from the faucet whenever I want.
Being able to wear flip flops again
Two sons who are quick to forgive and love to laugh
An amazing husband who is so helpful with both boys
Friends and family who love us in countless ways, including helping teach Jian, spending time with the boys, giving them welcome home gifts and planning parties!
A soft bed
Beautiful, fall weather
Wonderful healthcare
Being able to freely worship and talk about our Heavenly Father without ever even questioning or being concerned for my safety
A gracious God

I'll add more later about how things are going (really well actually, just don't ask me today :)) tomorrow hopefully!

More of being home

2010-10-18T03:15:00.001-05:00

Since my body is still on China time, I figured I'd try to post an update. Hopefully it will actually be somewhat coherent, I guess we'll find out in the morning.

So, we arrived home on Friday night around 9:30-10:00. Jian was so thrilled and loved looking around and seeing his room (still working on the video - actually, I haven't worked on it at all, haven't even downloaded it, so, that should say, will be working on the video). He was really excited when he saw a ripstick (skateboard) in his room (thanks Becky!), as well as balloons and a few other fun things that were left (thanks Becky and Audra :)). He looked around and kept saying everything was so big! He then took his bag to his room and emptied it all out on the floor. He found a place for everything that he brought with him. He put pictures up on his desk and walls, he had some special necklaces (with his name and a jade rat (his birthday is the year of the rat) and he hung those up under the slats on his bed. He loved having a place to put things and was disappointed at the empty drawers. I explained once we washed the clothes we brought from China he'd have clothes to fill them again.

Saturday morning, he enjoyed exploring outside and was excited to see all the things to do. He's adjusting well and loving being here. He likes looking at how spread out things are and is probably surprised to not see so many people and mopeds and bikes. He wanted his haircut, he had said in China that he wanted it cut when we went to America, so, Jon cut it for him, I'll try to remember to post a picture, it's cute, shorter and less shaggy.

Yesterday, (Sunday) we went to church, he wasn't quite sure what to think about all of that. Though, he was really excited to meet people. It was very special when he was introduced in church and brought joyful tears. He was given a Chinese/English New Testament and looked at it for a while last night, we're excited to start reading some of it with him. He's very social and friendly and was happy to see so many new friends. He was really excited to meet Brighton, who is deaf and was adopted from China 3 years ago, they enjoyed some basketball and made plans for the next time they could get together. Jian loved being able to play basketball and ripstick with his new friend John after church. On the way home, Jian was looking outside and signed "it's blue, the sky is blue! That's so cool! In China the sky is black and it always smells." We agreed, there was a lot of pollution and we rarely saw the sun. A cute observation :)

The boys all enjoyed some afternoon bike riding to the lake while I tried to catch up on the laundry. At meals, Jian has been watching us pray. We've also been trying to explain basic information to him in a way he can understand. Last night at dinner, he asked to pray! This is the interpreted version of his prayer: "Dear God, thank you that I could fly to America from China. Thank you for new friends, Thank you for my family and that I am adopted, Amen" WOW! Not a copied prayer, but well thought out - so amazing!

Our adjustment to home is going really well. He's a real busybody, so, we have to keep a close eye on him and help explain what is acceptable behavior, boundaries, etc. Thankfully, he continues to take redirection extremely well.

Tanner is absolutely overjoyed at having a brother. He has tried to give Jian everything he owns, toys, money, awards, whatever he has, he wants to give it to Jian. What a tender heart!

I need to go back and start from the beginning about how we heard about Jian - we just saw the e-mail again the other day and we'd love to share with you how this all began.

So, what do we have up for the week? Later today (Monday), we're going to do some homework, hopefully fold some laundry so that we all actually have clean clothes to wear, and possibly head to the social security office. I think we'll take a trip to the new HEB as well, we can make it an educational experience. Tanner is still home today, and will go to school 1/2 day Tuesday and Wednesday, then all day after that. Hopefully that will help his adjustment back. Tuesday Jian has a doctors appointment just for a checkup and then Wednesday Tanner has a cardiology appointment. His geneticist had found an abnormality in some genetic testing (unrelated to the leukodystrophy) and would like us to pursue that. So, thankfully I just realized the appointment is here and we don't have to drive to Temple - yeah! Anyways, enough of my blabbering on - I'll try to get the pictures/videos on later today if possible.

We continue to be overwhelmed by the love and prayers from all of you - it's such a joy to be a part of the family of God and see his presence in so many ways.

AHHHHHHH........ Home

2010-10-16T20:52:00.000-05:00

So, this is going to be another quick post :) More to come later when I'm a little more rested and my brain works better.

We arrived home last night. It feels sooooo good to be home. We had fun watching Jian explore the house and videotaped him seeing his new room - to say he loved it would be an understatement! He screamed :) It was great!

This morning he had fun exploring the backyard and was thrilled to learn we can see deer in the back yard. When we left the house he was shocked to see a squirrel cross the road (they're mostly seen in cages at the zoo in China!) and wanted to catch it.

We all slept until 10:30 (it felt amazing) and then stayed up all day. We ate breakfast, did some laundry, unpacked and went shopping for a few necessities for Jian, and replaced Tanner's glasses. We spent some nice time with friends (and saw baby Adalee Walsh for the first time :)) and now are home and ready for bed again (actually, I've been ready for a while, but, we're trying to get back on Central time).

So, more to come of our adjustment back home - along with some final China pictures. But for now, good night from America!

A new citizen!

2010-10-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

Well, we made it to America!! I can finally use my iphone again too.

We enjoyed seeing Hong Kong in the way to the airport :) It was a long trip to Newark. Tanner had a migraine starting about 1/2 way through the trip & he finally stopped vomiting just before we landed. But, we are so thankful he never had one while in China.

Jian is thrilled to be in America and can't wait to be home. The homeland security officer was excited to process his immigration paperwork, he's used to babies and liked explaining the process and having him sign the forms.

Thanks for your prayers for safe travel, everything so far has gone smoothly. We will update more tomorrow.

in Hong Kong

2010-10-14T08:19:00.000-05:00

We've arrived in Hong Kong. It was a long day, we're tired, a bit snippy with each other and ready to be home! We received Jian's passport and visa papers with no problems today, yeah!! More from America :)

US Consulate appointment day!

2010-10-13T07:37:00.001-05:00

We enjoyed a nice morning today. After breakfast we went walking with one of our new friends to see the local wet market (where they sell animals for food). Don't worry, no graphic pictures here (though, there were definitely some graphic things to see.) The pictures below are of Jian looking at the scorpions (we don't know if they're snacks or meals) in a bucket - we have plenty at home in Texas we can send to them here! Jian is standing next to some pigs, chicken feet and squid (everything else except the scorpions was dead). It was very intriguing to see all of these different things (including whole goats (skinned), jellyfish, huge squid, duck, one dog :() and seeing what local people do and eat. I was a little concerned about what happens when the goat is not sold that day, but, I decided to not dwell on that too much! The last picture is walking back to our hotel holding my new friend Carrie. The boys really had fun playing with her too. Since she's Chinese and spoke little English, she was used to gesturing, so they all communicated well with each other. The last picture is a man biking down the street, a common occurrence with big packages loaded onto bikes and motorcycles (including propane tanks!!!)

Then we did a little shopping for a few more gifts to bring home. We enjoyed some lunch and saw a Chinese movie being made! After lunch we all took a little rest before leaving for the consulate.

We were at the consulate appointment with 10 other families who were also adopting, and had seen several of them around town and in our hotel, so, it was fun to share this together. To be honest, it was a little anti-climactic in the end. No one is allowed to take their cameras or phones inside the consulate, so we couldn't get any pictures. We all waited together, then, were called up family by family to sign a document that we'd previously sent in through our agency, and waited for everyone else to do the same. After that, we all sat together and listened to the instructions for when we receive the visa and paperwork for immigration. I interpreted for the boys and was impressed that both paid attention so well with all that was going on. The lady introduced herself, talked a little about the building, then announced there were 2 children's birthdays, one girl who just turned 2 and then had a few nice comments about Jian having just turned 14 and that his adoption happened just under the wire. Everyone clapped for him and as he looked around, he seemed a little embarrassed, it was cute. I did get teary when we had to raise our right hands and take an oath that all of our information was true and accurate, though, it was hard to raise my right hand and sign at the same time :). As soon as that was over, everyone clapped and Tanner jumped up and down hugging Jian. It was really adorable how excited he was and seeing the two of them hugging each other (I wish I could've had a picture!) We spoke to the lady there at the consulate for a few minutes before leaving and she said all the people there commented how they loved Jian's passport photo (the one where he was always giggling) because most of them are very serious or the children are crying, and it was nice to see him so happy.

So, that was that! We went back and grabbed some dinner and now the boys are swimming again. Tomorrow we'll be packing up and getting ready to go. We'll leave in the early afternoon to go to the US Consulate one last time to pick up Jian's passport and visa and the paperwork we will need to give to US immigration when we arrive in New Jersey. Our plane stops in NJ, and we'll need to de-plane, and go through customs. At this time, when he walks off the plane, he will become a US citizen. After picking up the passport and visa, we'll head to the train station to go to Hong Kong. That was a bit stressful this morning, apparently something is going on in Hong Kong right now as most hotels were completely booked, we both were becoming anxious and wondering what we would do, when finally we found a hotel as well as a service that will bring us to the airport Friday morning. Phew! We're hoping it's not too bad, but, we're just happy to have a room to sleep in!

Today we are really ready to go. Tanner was a little sad tonight and said he missed his hamster. He asked me later who I was missing, I told him "my bed!" and he replied "and my hamster??" I'm finally done with all being in one room in a small, hard bed and wearing the same 5 outfits all the time! BUT.... I would not have traded this experience for the world.

This morning at breakfast, JIan and I we were discussing all of the children who were being adopted and how wonderful it was for them to go to a home with a mom and dad. He told us some things in a very general way that he had seen at the orphanage (children that had died) and it caused me to cry. He said "it's ok, don't cry" and I told him it was ok to be sad and cry. It reminded me again that though we have an amazing new son who has a new beginning and a new life, he still has a past. He has a history that we were not a part of and a history that will always be a part of him. This history does not define him, it is not who he is, but it will always affect him. Our prayer is that he will use it for the glory of God! I was reminded of Philippians 2:14-16 "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."

Well, the boys just came back! So, it's time to do a little packing. We are really looking forward to being home soon. To seeing how Jian adjusts there, to being a family back home. He is so excited - I'm hoping his expectations aren't too high! :) Hopefully we will be able to update tomorrow from Hong Kong - if not, it's possible our next update will be from America!!!

Not everything can go swimmingly....

2010-10-12T08:27:00.001-05:00

Well, it's true. We couldn't expect everything to go so smoothly. I called to confirm our flights today and found out we had a flight from Beijing to Houston, but, the flight they had us on from Guangzhou to Beijing had canceled our tickets. Hmmmm, well, ok. Lets go over this again, with all the names and information, I explained the whole deal from before. After about 3 total hours on the phone, we are now flying out of Hong Kong on Friday. So, we'll need to check out of our hotel here Thursday after picking up Jian's visa, take a train to Hong Kong, stay overnight there and then fly out from there to New Jersey and then on to Houston. The good news is that our total travel time will be about 5 hours less than we originally had been scheduled for and will only have 2 flights instead of 3 flights. We also get to Houston about 3 hours earlier than originally planned. So,hopefully this will all go smoothly!

This morning we went to the US Consulate to get Jian's fingerprinting completed. I was excited to see the US flag and thought it would feel a little more like home, but, nope, it didn't! Then we went to a park and walked around there, took a little (and I do mean little) boat ride on the lake/pond. We came back to go swimming before going to dinner and enjoying a night cruise down the Pearl River. It was a nice evening with a beautiful breeze and we enjoyed the company of some other adoptive families as well.

Tomorrow we're going to check out some local markets and then we go to the Consulate again in the afternoon to take an oath. There will be many other US families there at the same time, so, that will be fun! OK - goodnight from Guangzhou!

Chimelong Safari

2010-10-11T02:58:00.001-05:00

We had a fabulous day yesterday at the Chimelong safari. Apparently, if you visit Guangzhou - this is one of the best things to do. It was a combination of safari/zoo/performance all rolled into one.

We went with another family and were all very happy to have gone. We loved the drive-through safari (on a train) and saw a lot of lions, tigers, bears, giraffes, deer, wildebeests, zebra, camels, rhinos and much more, very close up. Jian loved it, but, was quite concerned that they would eat people. After the 45 minute ride, we got off and walked (well, actually ran, following our guide) through the rest of the zoo and saw tons of white tigers, many pandas, a lot of baby animals, tigers, chimp, zebra, wildebeest, and deer and then attended 2 performances, an elephant performance (it was amazing) and a tiger performance (a little more sad and not quite as amazing). We were completely worn out by the end of the day. We all enjoyed leisurely looking at the animals, but, apparently that's not the chinese way of doing things ;) Our guide was always in a hurry and encouraging us to move on after about a 1-2 minute stop at each place. It was a bit comical really! We laughed a lot because it seemed there wasn't any time to enjoy the animals, we were always needing to move on to the next one. We wonder if the word linger is in the Chinese vocabulary.

Both boys really loved the park. We obtained a lot of fun video that we'll have to post when we get back home. There was a lot of laughter and a really fun day of memories. The boys were tired, but, of course, not too tired to swim. A quick dinner in our room (of 50-cent noodles from the 7/11 across the street) and we're all ready to rest, read and sleep!

This morning we went to have Jian's TB test read. Fortunately, it was clear (they didn't inject it very well and left a bit of a bruise so I was a bit concerned they might note that as a reaction, but, thankfully it was clear). Then, we went to do a little shopping to a pedestrian mall. On the way we saw an entire street with very small shops on both sides of all types of chinese medicinal foods like dried snake, dried (and flattened) lizards, mushrooms, seeds, deer tendons, bones of things, and many other unrecognizable things - they were in giant bags to come and buy in bulk. We also enjoyed walking (well, one of us - the rest of them tolerated it) around a large store of many smaller shops filled with jade. It was a bit overwhelming, but, nice to look at.

Now, back for some more swimming and a restful (hopefully :)) evening. Tomorrow we'll need to get Jian's fingerprints done at the US Consulate and the following day we take our oath at the US Consulate. Thursday we pick up his visa and Friday we head home!

Some observations

2010-10-10T06:06:00.001-05:00

So, there are definitely some different things about China that we are not used to back home. Here are some of our observations for our memories and your entertainment.

* I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the squatty potty non-western style restroom facilities.

* There's no such thing as waiting in line, you may wait in line, and when it's time to go in, it becomes a crowd and it's a free-for-all. You have to learn to maneuver your way around (somewhat like roller derby) and it's not considered rude!

* Customer service is a relative term :)

* There are a lot of different smells and we're not always able to discern what they are, or, really get used to them.

* Listening harder and talking louder doesn't help me get my point across any better.

* Interpreting has a different meaning here - there can be a 10 minute conversation and then a 1 sentence interpretation.

* Top sheets are not a commonly used item - all our hotel beds have only had bottom sheets and duvets!

* Being stared at and having your picture taken doesn't necessarily make you feel like a celebrity, but, it makes us laugh :)

*We don't think we will ever get used to the idea that having the head still on your dinner somehow makes it more appetizing.

Now for some serious notes.

We are daily recognizing astonishing blessings that we've been given. Both in our trip here and with our family. It's amazing how often I think that 3 weeks ago we knew very little about our soon to be son and how quickly we have felt like a family. Our communication of course is not perfect, but, it's easy to do. The boys behave like brothers and really seem to enjoy each other's company. While he does tend to need alot of redirection and explanations about appropriate and innappropriate behaviors, he always accepts the redirection well, which we are very thankful for. I do not feel like Jian has not ever been our son.

Tanner has not had any migraines or any more symptoms since the first week we were here. He gets tired but never complains. Yesterday he was feeling a little homesick and down, but, who isn't!

We have all been able to get along and not really had any arguments or frustrations with each other. After being in such close proximity and constantly together for three weeks, it's a real blessing that I haven't been worse! With my OCD tendencies, they've put up with a lot, and I'm so thankful that Jon is still being patient with me and we're both continuing to have patience with the boys!

These things are all thanks to your prayers! We know that this trip is ordained and we are exactly where we're supposed to be, and it makes it so special and meaningful that you are praying for us and joining us on this trip.

Medical exam.....done (mostly)

2010-10-09T07:25:00.001-05:00

So, our first day in Guangzhou was a successful one. We had a nice breakfast while enjoying the Pearl River. During breakfast Jian continued staring at a little girl who was adopted. He couldn't pull himself away. He asked a lot of questions about it and why she was in the orphanage.

We then met our guide and walked to get Jian's Visa pictures taken. The lady kept talking to him in Chinese and I think telling him not to smile. I finally asked our guide to remind the lady that he was deaf. He continued giggling and had a hard time not smiling - it was pretty cute.

Then we walked to the medical exam office. This is for adoptees from all over the country, as well as a medical office for anyone. We met several other adoptive families there, it was fun seeing a lot of different age children that were being adopted. It felt really crazy there - we were shuffled from one section to the next, one doctor listened to his heart and lungs and checked him all over, then, someone else checked his eyes (at this point the doctor came over and explained he was disappointed in Jian's posture :)), then we moved to the ENT area before blood pressure. Then, we waited for a while before he had to get 5 shots plus the oral polio. We had warned him ahead of time, and he did great taking the shots. We had to wait about 30 minutes to make sure there was no reaction before we could leave. We have to go back in 2 days to have his TB test checked.

After that ordeal, we had a delicious Thai lunch with another American family. We came back for a little swimming, resting and TV watching since it was a rainy day outside. Jon and Jian went to the gym for a while and right now they're enjoying a rousing game of Memory (who would've thought he'd have so much fun playing Memory on the Ipad :)). This includes squeals and much laughter whether winning, losing or tying.

Tomorrow we're all excited to go to a wildlife safari! We've heard you can pet baby tigers and hopefully will see panda bears. It should be a fun day.

Also, one week from today we will be home in our beds!

We are in Guangzhou

2010-10-08T08:01:00.001-05:00

We have arrived in Guangzhou! Jian was so incredibly excited to be on an airplane, he could hardly wait!

We almost didn't make it to our flight though.

Here's the scenario.

Our guide brought us to the airport, showed us our gate number on the tickets, and brought us to security. Here is where I got nervous. We're in China, I don't speak the language, not many foreigners there, flying in-country, trying to go through security.....well, no reason to be nervous, security apparently has a different meaning in China, I'm not sure they even looked at our bags as they went through the x-ray machine. Phew, ok, step one down. Now, we follow the signs to gate 28. We walk down a long hallway, down 2 escalators and to a very big waiting area with very few seats and many, many people. It looks like we'll need to take a bus to our plane. OK, no problem. We were early, we'll sit close to the gate and hope for some English. It looked as if they were serving food if you had a ticket. We don't know if there will be lunch on our flight, so, Jon attempted to get food. The lady just waved him away. So, when it was close to boarding time, Jon went to check with a gate attendant if we were at the right gate, she replied - 15. "What??" Who knows what that meant. OK, we'll just wait a little longer. Then, we realized a man sitting close to Tanner had the same city on his ticket, excellent! We are going to stick close to him. I had eagle eyes on him, and freaked out a little when he got up to go to the bathroom, he was probably a little bothered by the foreigner stalkers, but, we felt like he was our ticket to Guangzhou! A few minutes later they took a chain and locked the doors to go to the buses. Hmmmm, well, they'll be back. Our guy stuck around looking out the window, and didn't seem concerned (there's a picture attached of the unwitting assistant - it's the last picture). When it was past boarding time, Jon went to another gate attendant close by and asked her for help, she pointed at the gate we were at, OK, good, we're still in the right place. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 12:50pm, and it's now about 12:35, we're starting to get a little nervous, but, our friend that we were stalking was still there. Suddenly, our guy starts moving, we get up and start following and then we hear our flight announced in English, flight ZH9618, is in final boarding at gate 15. WHAT???!!!! OK, our guy starts running, so we start running. Up 2 escalators and down the hall - WHEW!!! We were almost the last people on the plane. Apparently they did not feel a need to make the flight announcement in English until the last minute, what a great idea! Oh well, we were SO thankful that we made it. We enjoyed a noodle or rice lunch with some sort of meat and coconut cake for dessert. We got drinks in dixie cups, and were delighted to be on our flight!

Jian was thrilled. We've attached some pictures of his first flight. Tanner was disappointed that he didn't get the window seat. Jian took tons of pictures from the plane and then, couldn't believe we had to wait another 2 hours until we arrived. He could hardly believe it when we told him that next week our flight will be 25 hours.

So, now we're here in Guangzhou. Our guide met us at the airport and brought us to our hotel, The White Swan. It seems strange here. Now that we're not in Jian's hometown, we'd kind of like everything to be done and head back home. Jian agrees too, he's counting down the days to fly to America. But, it's a nice hotel (the common areas are beautiful, the room is a bit smaller than our room in Nanjing. In fact, Jon and I get to share a twin bed! The room is also a bit smelly, but, not a lot different than the rest of China. I'm thrilled to not have a window from the bathroom to the bedroom too!) The pools are beautiful and we get to sit outside and watch the kids swim, this was a nice activity after finding dinner at Starbucks. It's a lot less crowded here in this area, much more touristy, but a lot less traffic. We're on a small island, so, it's easy to get around right here by walking. While walking around in the hotel tonight, we met another family who adopted a 2 year old boy with a heart condition from a different province. They live in Dallas! Jian was excited to see another adopted boy and both Jian and Tanner had fun playing with the little boy.

One of the pictures attached are a couple of the amenities we're provided at hotels in China. We have both of these things at all our hotels so far :) You can't drink the water here, so you get 2 bottles a day (we have a hot pot to boil more water), AND, the amenities are not complete without your breathing mask in case of.....!

Tomorrow we go for Jian's medical appointment and TB test. I'm hoping to get his vaccination records translated as well. Then, I think we're free for the rest of the afternoon.

So, one week from now we'll be halfway home! Yeah! Our trip though, has truly been amazing and fantastic. We couldn't have asked for it to be any better, and all the glory goes to God. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. Our communication and bonding is going great and we're looking forward to one more week all together. We loved having 2 weeks in Jian's hometown and meeting many new friends there.

OH, that reminds me of one more thing - if you're still reading..... :) This morning, before leaving Nanjing, we were leaving a gift for Jian's "Chinese mom and dad." Our guide, Michael, called them and they said they were close and so stopped in to say goodbye. We gave them the gift and she asked when we were returning to China. We tried to explain we were unsure and it's so expensive. Our guide said maybe we could come back for Jian's 20th birthday in 6 years and we laughed. Well, in the van on our way to the airport, she called Michael and told him to let us know that she'll take care of all the arrangements and we don't need to do anything to help with Jian's 20th birthday party! YIKES! We didn't really necessarily plan to come back then - we'll have to see what happens there. :)

OK now, goodnight from Guangzhou.

Off to Guangzhou

2010-10-07T19:41:00.001-05:00

After a fun and restful day yesterday, we are mostly packed and ready to head out to Guangzhou very soon. We should be there by late afternoon.

We are a bit sad to be leaving here (actually, Jian is not at all sad - he's so excited to get on an airplane - I wonder when/if he will show sadness). Our server at breakfast told us she was sad we were leaving - so sweet!

OK - off to finish packing, will update more from Guangzhou.

Goodbye for now Nanjing.

The City Wall and Nanjing Museum

2010-10-06T07:41:00.001-05:00

Today we enjoyed a long walk on some more of the city wall and enjoyed a view of the mountain and a beautiful lake and park. It was too much for Tanner, and we were again thankful for the backpack we purchased prior to the trip. Tanner is not feeling 100%, but, much better than he was yesterday. We were concerned about whether the azithromycin antibiotic we had would even work for an ear infection since that wasn't really what the doctor was thinking when he prescribed it. But we saw God's care for us again when I (Shelly) got on the internet and found an article date September 22, 2010 that found a single dose of azithromycin was more effective for treating ear infections than a ten day treatment with the more commonly used amoxicillin. God is good.

We're also so amazed that despite how weak he is (in general, not from the ear infection), that he is such a trooper. He keeps on going without complaining. We go up and down a lot of steps to get to subways and buses, lots of walking to find places as well as the touring that we do. What an amazing kid he is.

We ate a fabulous Indian lunch before checking out the Nanjing Museum. Just outside of the museum there was a lot of activity due to the holidays. There was a man making cotton candy on the back of his bike (pedaling his bike made the motor work to make the cotton candy!!) The kids loved it, it tasted a little odd to us though. Several people asked to have their pictures taken with Jon and or Tanner here :). We were also heart broken as we saw several men with different physical disabilities that did not appear to have any other options than begging on the streets. Tanner always wants to help by giving money or food and as well as touching them and looking in their faces with compassion far beyond his years.

The museum itself was all about the city and showed a short movie and other information about Jian's home! We really enjoyed this and the kids had fun there as well. Jian enjoyed pointing out where the orphanage was, the deaf school and other places he knew. After looking at a map today we were shocked with how far he had to ride his bike every day to go to school.

I can't believe that our time here in Nanjing is almost finished. I never thought I would say this, but, I will be truly sad to leave! What a truly memorable and special time we have had here. We will be a little sad to leave, but, Jian is ready to go! Tonight he looked at the calendar and wrote at the top (in Chinese), "I can't wait to go to America!" I hope he still feels that way once we're home.

A Chinese picnic and dumplings

2010-10-05T10:35:00.000-05:00

Today was a great day. We loved being able to share our story with many new friends and talk about our adoption and our lives. It is clear to us that we are here for so much more than this adoption. What a memorable time we're having here. We met new friends today who invited us back to Nanjing anytime and told us we're welcome to stay with them in the city of our son.

So, we attended a picnic today. To get there, we took our first subway and bus rides. All of the boys (Jon included, enjoyed the many different forms of transportation). This was a picnic unlike any we have ever been to before! We sat on concrete stools around small firepits. About 6-8 people sat at each place. There was charcoal underneath a grate and on top was foil in places. There were many different kinds of food and they would brush on sauces and spices on top of the food being cooked. There was tofu, beef, pork, bananas, squid, chicken, beans, mushrooms, and more. They were cooked on wooden skewers. The cooked meat would often be on the same plate as the raw meat, so, I was again praying for protection for our bodies. The food was delicious (most of it - I tried squid this time!) and the company memorable. And, as in true Chinese fashion, there was way more food than I could eat. I sat with several new friends, Jon and Jian sat together with others (Jian enjoyed being the cook) and Tanner sat by himself with many Chinese, and was very proud to be on his own. It was a beautiful day for a picnic and we stayed for several hours. The kids had some fun things to play on and then played a little frisbee and badminton while we enjoyed sitting and chatting for a while.

We then went on to a home where we were taught how to make dumplings. Jon and I both learned. I'm not sure we'll try it at home, maybe we'll just buy the already made ones. We enjoyed the company as well as the fun time making dinner and eating with new friends. We were again able to share our adoption story and how it all transpired and worked out. Many people are surprised and curious as to why Americans would want to adopt a 14 year old Chinese boy who is deaf. I'm not sure we'll ever tire of telling the story. We also enjoyed listening to a young Chinese girl play the Guzheng (an ancient Chinese instrument). It was beautiful and amazing! We were enthralled with her abilities and her mother gave us a DVD of her playing.

Tanner has been having a runny nose for a few days and responded well to allergy medicine, so, we assumed it was the smoke and pollution here. Well, tonight when Jon was washing his face, he responded in pain when his ear was touched. This almost always means an ear infection. We're thankful that we have antibiotics along with us and will pray that they will work to clear up the infection. He's continuing to love having a big brother. Yesterday morning he started clapping and jumping up and down and signed to Jian "I'm so happy you're my brother!!!"

Jian still is doing so much better than we ever imagined. It feels like we've been a family forever (I guess in one sense, that's true). It's hard to believe it's been just over a week since we've met him and he became our son. There are definitely some frustrations and irritations, but, nothing we didn't expect or out of the ordinary - especially for a deaf child, and one who has grown up in an orphanage. He loves to touch everything, grab things and be a little aggressive at times. This is not unusual for someone wanting/needing attention as well as a way to communicate with those he can't sign or speak with. He actually is learning well and responding well to redirection. He still always has a smile on his face and loves to check his calendar every day to see when we're flying to America.

Tomorrow we are looking forward to some more sight-seeing around the city. Hopefully a museum about Nanjing as well as a trip to the mountain. It's supposed to be another beautiful day, so, I'd better sign off and get some sleep to be ready for another enjoyable day.

Sunday and Monday

2010-10-04T08:07:00.001-05:00

I couldn't come up with a title better than that, so, Sunday and Monday it is. We don't have a lot to report from here, just a couple of nice quiet days enjoying our family and time together in Nanjing.

Yesterday, we did some homework, then enjoyed walking around Confucious Temple (we tried to find the silk lantern factory to visit, but, couldn't find it and couldn't find anyone who spoke enough English to help us.) It was a busy day there since it was a weekend and the holiday. We made a few purchases, and then the boys were a little bored and tired. I was getting a little tired of the crowds and the smells, so we went back to the room for lunch and a swim. It was a nice, quiet Sunday afternoon/evening. We enjoyed a dinner at one of the restaurants in the mall attached to our hotel. We appreciate having Jian as our own interpreter :) He likes it as well. We wanted to order sprite with our meal, but, it wasn't on the menu, Jian wrote it down in Chinese and sure enough, we were delivered 4 sprites! We've done this a few times at different restaurants, it works well for us and helps Jian feel important.

Today was another quiet day. We worked on homework again with both boys. Jian seems to be doing quite well with math, and with ASL. We were working on some sight words today and he said "I prefer Chinese!" though he did well in continuing to practice and learn. We again did some swimming, and then enjoyed a tex-mex dinner with our american friends! When we left, we were quickly reminded that we were still in China! It was nice to have an evening and feel back at home.

Tomorrow we're going to have a picnic lunch with some friends and some of their friends, we're looking forward to that and the boys are excited to be going on a picnic!

1 week ago....

2010-10-03T06:58:00.001-05:00

One week ago, we became parents again! Not in the typical way, with the doctor announcing "he's here!" while in a hospital room, but, still just as exciting and memorable! We became parents in a small office in Nanjing, China by signing some papers and giving our name to a 14 year old son. That was a quiet Sunday morning with many people going about their business, but, for us, it was a life-changing day.

One of the certificates we received this week that was translated into English, reads like this:

"In accordance with the record of the files concerned of the abandoned infants of Nanjing Social Children's Welfare Institute, this is to certify that Qin Jianfeng (male), born on September 29, 1996, was found abandoned in the waiting room of Nanjing Railway Station, Jiangsu Province on January 19, 1997 and on the same day was taken to Nanjing Social Children's Welfare Institute by Nanjing Police Station of Nanjing Railway Public Security Department to be in the custody and care of the Institute, and was named as Qin Jianfeng. Up to now his natural parents and other relatives have not been found. Qin Jianfeng is definitely an abandoned baby."

A friend reminded me this week, of how amazing this is - it's not just an improvement of something, it's a complete life change - Jian has a new name and a new heritage, a completely new life! He's no longer an abandoned baby, he's our son, he is now a member of our family. And what a beautiful picture to remind us that we are adopted as members of the family of God, and that the extent of the transformation of our life is the same.

An amazing trip, Chinese parents, and a taste of home

2010-10-02T21:25:00.001-05:00

Good morning!

It is Sunday morning here. I'm writing an update, then Jon and I are going to listen to last Sunday's message, hopefully it will feel a little more like Sunday! We're then planning to go out and find a park and have a restful morning. Jian already set it up with his friend's family (the other boy who was just adopted), to swim together this afternoon.

A few days ago, Jon was able to take an amazing and memorable day trip. We would love to tell you more about it when we get home. He recognized that this place has tremendous needs and was able to spend some time in encouragement.

So, yesterday was an interesting and memorable day. The Wang family (we think that's their name), came to pick us up in their car - Mrs. Wang's brother came in his car as well so we could all fit. We drove to their apartment and hiked up to the 6th floor (only buildings with 7 or more floors have elevators). They showed us around their home and Jian was excited to show us where he slept. He took plenty of pictures around the apartment and we're happy to have these for the future. We enjoyed some tea and fruit. It's difficult to turn down things that we know we shouldn't eat, but, were able to do so somewhat graciously. We enjoyed seeing a traditional (though probably somewhat wealthy), Chinese home. The kitchen is very small, the bathroom and kitchen are connected with an incompletely frosted glass door! Yikes - I didn't realize this until I needed to use the restroom. The shower has no door, it's right next to the toilet, and the whole restroom is tiled. Their apartment is bigger than most. There are 2 bedrooms downstairs and an attic like area with a 3rd playroom/bedroom. It also has a toilet up there (we're pretty sure there's no plumbing connected to it - it was quite smelly up there). We were told whenever we come back to Nanjing, we can stay there Tanner was excited to see all of the toys up there. Jian showed us his remote control car they gave him. Mr. Wang explained they'd given it to him, but, he always wanted to keep it at their house. I'm sure Jian knew it was not safe at the orphanage.

We chatted for a while, thankful for our guide, and were able to hear a bit more about them, and they asked us questions about America. The three boys (their son and our 2) played the computer and other games together. They asked if Jon wanted to go fishing, we had other plans for the afternoon and were unable to take them up on the offer. We then went to lunch in a small market-like area downstairs. Mr. Wang told us that these were people who were unemployed and come and set up their own small business. There were "restaurants," hair salons, snack places, nail places, and other "shops." So, they brought along crab from a fresh water lake. We sat down at the "restaurant" (2 tables) and they asked if we liked duck. Jon said yes, I said I was willing to try it. We then were pulled out of our seats and taken across the street to 2 different vendors with food to purchase. We picked our own roasted duck (Jon was concerned this would be a live duck, we were thankful this was not the case), and some sort of beef. We turned down the pig tongue, whole roasted chicken (including the feet), and other unrecognizable things. During this time, I was praying for protection for our bodies of the food we were about to eat.

So, we sat down to eat and we think there were about 13-14 different types of food brought out. Some was delicious - the BBQ'd fish was amazing! The beef was ok (though cold), and other food was not too bad. Then another bowl came out, our guide was unsure of the proper interpretation but called it fish intestines. I tried very hard to keep a neutral face. When Mr. Wang motioned several times for me to take some, I took some of the juice and put it on my plate but did not use my chopsticks to take any "meat." Then came the pig kidneys, Jian and their son both ate plenty of these, I again, politely (hopefully) declined. Jon was very brave, and tried some of everything! More and more food kept being brought out, and fortunately, I was able to say I was full, Jon helped and asked our guide to tell them I had a small stomach.

While eating, they asked their son if he wanted to come to America with us. He adamantly declined. They asked if Tanner wanted to stay with them while we brought the 2 chinese boys back to America. Tanner said sure! They asked if he wanted to stay overnight and he begged to stay. We explained that Tanner has to take medication 3 times a day and he was going to have to come back with us. She then said that we could leave Tanner for 3 years and come back to pick him up after that. We think she wanted to work on his oral skills.

We wished we had a gift for them, to thank them for all their generosity. We told them we would like to send them something from America - they replied "no, we are all family now, we will not accept your gifts." I think they would love pictures of Jian in America, so, we will make sure to send some of those upon our return. They invited us to have dinner with them as well, we had to decline since we already had dinner plans. We enjoyed our time, but, I was having a bit of difficulty with all of the smoke - there's a lot of smoking that goes on here in China! Both men there smoked the entire time we were together.

We are so thankful to have had this time in seeing them, spending time with them and seeing their home. It's great to have some pictures and knowledge of where Jian has spent some of his time and to ask some questions about his last several years.

We came back and of course did a little swimming. Then, we went and had a fabulous American dinner of hamburgs with some Americans! It was so delicious and we really enjoyed the company as well. Jian was excited to use their ripstick and show off his skateboarding skills. We all had a fun evening and another great day to store in our memories.

A day of swimming

2010-10-01T08:15:00.000-05:00

So, there's not much to post today. It was a restful day around Nanjing. The boys slept in late (until almost 8am), and then we went to breakfast. I laughed while watching them there. Our breakfast is a large buffet with a lot of Chinese and American foods. There's a grill where you can order eggs to be made. Tanner and Jian both were wanting to get eggs. They were discussing amongst themselves in a mix of ASL and Chinese sign language what they wanted, I just sat back and watched, while they argued about how many eggs each wanted, Jian said 1 Tanner adamantly stated 2. The 2 chefs only spoke Chinese and stood patiently waiting. Then, somehow they all figured out what was to be ordered and the boys came back happy with what was on their plates.

Then, we spent several hours at the pool, went to lunch at Papa Johns, then, back into the pool. We then enjoyed dinner with other Americans and are back watching some fireworks in our room. The fireworks are for National Day, and the boys are enjoying watching them.

Tomorrow morning Jian is really excited to go see his Chinese mom and dad, and then tomorrow evening, to go skateboarding and have dinner with American friends.

The zoo, some stories and observations

2010-09-30T07:36:00.001-05:00

So, there are plenty of stories we could regale you with, but, you might be bored to tears, so, we'll just put down a few for us to remember later!

Yesterday, when we were leaving walmart, we were waiting for a taxi. It was in front of a hotel and a lot of shops, so there was a wide sidewalk and a lot of people milling about. There happened to be a beggar walking around this area looking for money. We ignored him and walked on by at the advice of our guide. As we passed him, Jian noticed a sign around his neck written on a piece of cardboard that stated "deaf." He also told us to walk on by. Tanner saw the man and took out the coins that Jon had given him and handed it to the man. He turned around and told us, "the man is poor! We need to help him." Jian said "no, no money" and Tanner emphatically explained again, the man was poor and we need to give him money to help him. What a tender heart and sweet spirit! I love seeing things like that. Also, yesterday afternoon, as we left the restaurant, Jian's friend that is also being adopted was a bit sad. Tanner went up to him and put his arm around him - he didn't need to say anything, just trying to help him feel better. What a teacher he is to us, reminding us of how we are to live!

Today, we went to the zoo! It definitely was not like our zoos back home, but, the boys had a good time. While enjoying the monkeys, a little boy started talking to our guide. He was about 3 or 4 years old and liked seeing the foreigners. He asked if Tanner was my son and I pointed to both of the boys, indicating they were both my sons. Our guide tried to explain that Jian was adopted, but wasn't sure of the word. I asked him if he knew how to write adopted and he did, we showed the family of the young boy and they nodded. Then, the father asked if I wanted their son as well!

The pictures attached are from the zoo. I'm not sure if you'll be able to read the signs on the first picture, the green sign states "ferocious animals" underneath that is "lions and tigers." We never figured out what exactly the ferocious animals were! The next is of Jian showing Tanner the Chinese sign for tiger. Then, Tanner is feeding the poor pig that had a broken, right front leg, he said feeding it would help it heal. And, can you figure out what the animal is that Jian's trying to feed? A squirrel!!!

Then, of course, we enjoyed an afternoon at the pool and did a little homework again. Tanner enjoyed signing sight words and being the teacher.

So, I think we're getting used to things here. We're getting used to the smells, the sounds, the language (not that we can speak or understand it, but, just used to hearing it all the time). I'm even getting more used to the traffic. I'm not completely tense and stopping the blood flow in Jon's hand every time we're in a taxi! I'm not sure we're still used to having a large picture window between the bathroom and the bedroom in the hotel, (thankfully there are blinds, but still!!!), nor am I used to the non-western style restrooms.

Tonight, as we were walking through the mall after dinner, I realized how many stores have inappropriate clothing on their mannequins and out for display! Come on!! I have a teenage son now! I'm sure I'll probably notice this more back home too, but, it just seems really blatant right now! Can I buy some blinders? :)

Tanner did better this afternoon - he had a hard time this morning and fell asleep on the way to the zoo, but, still enjoyed it nonetheless. He went to bed at 7pm, so, hopefully he'll get a good night of sleep and feel better in the morning.

Well, this feels like a really random post, hopefully it's readable! I'm tired and heading to bed early tonight - good night from China and good morning in America!

A day around the city

2010-09-30T00:56:00.001-05:00

Good morning from sunny Nanjing! We're so thankful that yesterday and today we've finally seen the sun!! It feels so refreshing.

Yesterday, we had fun celebrating Jian's birthday, though I'm not sure he fully understood what we were celebrating.

We met one of Jian's friends from the orphanage who was also being adopted and enjoyed spending the day with them.

We went to visit a museum and place where they make brocade - a sort of tapestry. It's how they made it hundreds of years ago. It was fascinating!! I attached a couple of pictures, there are 2 people working at the same time on each piece, the person on top is in control of the design and the person on bottom is in control of the color. It takes them 2 days to create 2 inches!!! I could've stayed there all day long! This was the place where our gift from the orphanage is from, so it was even more meaningful to visit. There's also a picture of Jian in front of one of the robes made for an Emperor.

We also had fun at a tour of the city wall. The kids could run around here a little bit and it was a great view of the city from above. The battery on our camera died here, so, we have a few pictures from my phone! While entering the restaurant, we ran into one of the ladies that worked at the orphanage (Ayi). We took some pictures with her and then she cried when we left. We then enjoyed a nice Chinese lunch before heading off to do a little shopping at.....Walmart!! Can you believe it? We bought a new camera :( Ours is making strange sounds. It's still working for now, but, we're concerned that it will die decided it was worth it to buy another one. Thankfully our guide was with us to help interpret and make sure we bought one that actually had a battery!

Then, of course, we did some swimming again, did a little homework and some work with Jian (he loves practicing his numbers in ASL), and we gave Jian some birthday gifts before heading out to dinner with some Americans! We went to a Himalayan restaurant and had some fabulous Indian food!

Tanner has not been feeling great the last few days and fell asleep before eating dinner last night. He's been quite pale and a bit off (that's always the best way to describe it). This sometimes is a precursor to a migraine, so, we're praying that is not the case. We're thankful we have medication with us if we need it, but, we're hoping it will dissipate on its own without intervention. Of course, he's not complaining at all, just a little crabby, but, in typical Tanner fashion, he wants to continue doing everything and not miss out on any fun.

Last night, I had to call the airlines to confirm our changed flights - unfortunately, it was not as easy as we expected. I was on the phone for 1.5 hours trying to rearrange things, pay additional fees, and try to get home on the 15th. They were saying we couldn't get on the flight that we were scheduled for on the 15th, and would have to wait until the 16th. You would think I wouldn't care after all this time here, but, I did! I was so unhappy and tired. I told the person on the phone "I cannot stay here for one more day!" She was very kind and was able to find another flight so that we'll still be able to get home on the night of Oct. 15th. Though, of course, this morning, one more day doesn't seem like such a big deal! I was a bit crabby, tired and out of sorts yesterday, and not as patient with the boys as I would like to be. I'm thankful that today is a new day and I can start again!

We're looking forward to a restful day at "home" here and not having a lot planned. So, I'll try to update later on that, if there's anything much to say!

Happy Birthday Jian!

2010-09-28T17:35:00.001-05:00

Happy 14th Birthday Jian!

Wow, here we are, in China, celebrating our son's 14th birthday! (15th to him, here you're considered 1 when you're born).

One year ago, even six months ago, we did not even know there was a cheerful boy on the other side of the world, waiting for a home. We didn't know that if there was no home found for him before his 14th birthday, he would never have the option of being adopted. He would not have had any further education, and may have been allowed to stay at the orphanage, or, maybe not. He may have liked to have a job, but, there was not much hope for that either.

But, before the world began, our same Creator decided we should become a family. And though we had no idea, it was already planned.

It was providential that we would have 2 sons who are cheerful and happy and loving despite the circumstances they're in. It was providential that we would have 2 sons that love to laugh and love to give to others. It was providential that we would have 2 sons that despite the fact that they cannot hear, maybe hear much more than the rest of us. It was providential that these 2 boys who love to swim, laugh, jump on the beds, race to the elevator, race to see who can open the door first, and smile all day long, would become brothers even though they're from opposite sides of the world. How beautiful is God's picture of adoption.

Happy Birthday Jian! We love you, as do so many people who have never even met you!

A visit to the Nanjing Deaf School

2010-09-28T07:01:00.001-05:00

After our visit to the orphanage, we were able to visit the deaf school. I believe that the couple that has taken Jian in, helped us to be able to go in and visit here. We were told that it was being remodeled and that we would probably not be able to enter. We were very thankful to be able to go in and ask some questions!

Jian has not been in school for the past year, so, he was very happy to see his friends again. We were able to see several classes of students and they were all thrilled to see the American people. They laughed at my pointy nose and wanted their pictures taken and to be on video, Jon was happy to oblige. The younger children jumped up and down, laughing and clapping when they saw us. Tanner walked right into all of the classrooms and informed them that he was in the 4th grade at Henderson Elementary School and he is a Henderson Hawk. He was so excited to see all of the deaf kids and didn't realize or care that they signed a different language :) We were able to tell the children (in Chinese sign language) that we were Jian's new mom and dad and he was moving to America. He wanted to see the pictures of these friends over and over again this afternoon.

The pictures here are of Tanner and Jian outside of the deaf school and then several of the Jian and his friends. We were able to speak to some of the administrators and ask for school records, we're not sure if we will receive them, but, were glad to have the opportunity to ask.

Afterwards, the couple who took Jian in (his Chinese mom and dad), brought us to a nice restaurant for lunch. It was not an easy lunch for me, but, I ate enough to show my appreciation :) There is a picture of one of the meats that Jon ate and I did not try, duck tongue. Jian enjoys it as well, but, will have to learn to live without it! The lunch was a sort of fondue-like setting - boiling soup in a pot and you put in all kinds of different foods - lotus flower, tofu, skinny mushrooms, bok choy, and MUCH more. You boiled those things, then take them out and eat them. Then, came shrimp, lamb, chicken, more lamb, more shrimp (that is supposed to be eaten with the shell on), duck tongue, (so-called) meatballs, and more. THEN, after all that, they said the main course was coming! The noodles. WE were informed it's a tradition to have noodles at the end of the meal because it's a reminder to keep in touch for a long time (like the long noodles), so, of course, we then had to eat noodles too!!

Then, of course, the boys begged to swim again. So, they swam for a while before we went back and rested, went to a grocery store for some food, ate dinner, and are now back and ready for bed!

Tomorrow, we are looking forward to some more sight-seeing! Good night from China!

Our visit to the orphanage

2010-09-28T06:57:00.001-05:00

Today we went to visit the Nanjing SWI (Social Welfare Institute) where Jian grew up. He was clearly loved there, which was wonderful to see. We had some of our questions answered, and left with many more.

The first picture is Jian in front of the building he lived signing "orphanage".

A lady and her husband met us there (we have a picture of the 5 of us next). They would take Jian home with them on the weekends and holidays. They met him at the deaf school because they have a son who attends there (who was adopted at the age of 3). They took Jian home on and off for 6 years. You can tell they really love him and are happy he is going to a home in America. Jian called them his Chinese mom & dad. Tonight, he asked if his American mom and dad and his Chinese mom and dad are friends, he was happy when we replied that we were. We were invited to their home on Saturday, and we are all looking forward to seeing them again. We were happy to meet them and be able to ask her questions. She told us she once bought him shoes and they often took him to a nice restaurant once a month. They brought us to this same restaurant for lunch and were very loving and generous to both Tanner and Jian.

The next picture is of many of the staff and administration. They all seemed to really like Jian and he was full of smiles while we were there. He kept asking to go upstairs and wanted to show us his bed and see his friends. The 4th picture is one of Jian's friends. He could sign some and was excited to see Jian. He is about to be adopted by a family in America next month. The next picture is Jian showing us his bed. We were happy he slept on a top bunk because he should be ok with the loft bed we set up for him at home!

The last picture is of me holding a 9 month old boy (yes, he's dressed like a girl, but, he's a boy). Tanner enjoyed playing with him for a few minutes and he was so sweet to hold. He was going home with a foster mother, we met her outside as we were leaving, and were told at that time that Jian had stayed with her as well. So, we're not really sure of the whole story because we'd been told different things about where he has lived. This was one of the things I meant about leaving with more questions.

While touring upstairs, we met a few other children that were special needs and were not in school. One was a 20 year old young man who was deaf. Another was a little 8 year old boy with kidney problems, and just as we were leaving we saw several children come off the elevator with different problems. This evening, I've been having a hard time with this. Thankfully, it looks as if they're cared for as best as they can be in the situation they're in, yet, it's so sad to see them there. While we were looking through the pictures, Jian was explaining how the children come to the orphanage. He said people toss the children on the road, then the police find them, pick them up and bring them to the orphanage.

Today, I was once again reminded in a very clear way, how this world is not our home and what a broken one it is. Yet, amazingly, I was able to have joy while there, because our son, who was chosen for us before the world was even made, was happy to be there and show us his friends, his bed and where he lived. We were able to take pictures there and will have these memories for him in the future.

I did not think this would be an easy trip, the entire trip to China and the trip today to the orphanage. But, I'm thankful that both have occurred. I'm thankful that we're here seeing another part of the world made by our Creator, and seeing the reality of this world and reminded of how much I have and how much I've been given, and reminded of the unfathomable and undeserved blessings I have received. You see, I too, have been adopted and did not deserve or do one bit to earn anything, but, have been given life abundantly.

This and That

2010-09-27T19:45:00.001-05:00

Good morning from Nanjing, China!

I wanted to put up a quick post before we left for the day.

People have asked different questions, so, I thought I'd just answer them here (the ones I can remember).

1) Jian's name:

We were going to change it to Jian Lee Bergeron, but, found out that Jian Feng is actually his first name, so, on paper it will be Jian Feng Lee Bergeron. When we talk about him though, we're just saying Jian. We will let him decide later what he would like to use for his name - Jian, Jian Feng or Lee. Lee is my dad's middle name, so that's where that came from :).

You pronounce his name Geeun Fung

2) If the adoption is finished, why are we still here?

The Chinese side of the adoption is complete, but, we must go to Guangzhou and have an appointment with the US Consulate there. This will allow us to get his Visa to come back into the United States. Right now, even though we've adopted him, Jian is still considered a Chinese citizen - his passport will reflect as much. So, we need to get him a visa (after a medical exam, TB test and an interview with the consulate) to return home. Once he sets foot on US soil (which will be in New Jersey when we switch planes), he will automatically become a US citizen.

3) Why are we here so long?

We were originally hoping to go home on October 9th, but, will be here until October 15th. The reason is that there's a holiday beginning on October 1st - National Day (like Independence Day), but, they celebrate it for an entire week. So, everything is closed October 1-7. We could not get an appointment with the US Consulate (they only accept appointments on certain days and only after a family has their official travel notice to adopt their child) until October 12th. So, we'll have the appointment on the 12th and will not get his Visa until October 14th. Then, we'll be allowed to travel back to the United State.

4) What are we doing today?

We are getting ready to go visit the orphanage and the deaf school. It's possible we will not be allowed in the deaf school due to remodeling, but, we'll at least be able to get some pictures! So, we'll post more later about the day!

Good night in America!

Sight-seeing in Nanjing

2010-09-27T02:48:00.001-05:00

I'm trying to stay caught up, so, sorry there are several posts all at once! Hopefully it's not too boring.

Today is Monday, September 27th. I think we're mostly used to the time change here and catching up on sleep. We went to our buffet breakfast this morning, Jian loves it! So much to choose from, and lots of food that he enjoys such as noodles with bacon on top. Fortunately, there's a lot of food Americans can enjoy as well. He's picking up ASL very quickly, he'll show us something in Chinese sign language, we'll show him in ASL, then he'll use both. All morning, Tanner would use the Chinese signs for everything and then say what it is in ASL and use the Chinese signs again.

I finally took a picture of the view from our room, we are on the 11th floor. After breakfast, the boys were waiting for us to finish getting ready and looking outside together - I love this picture!

We then went with our guide to Purple Mountain (I think that's the name!) and to see the mausolem of Dr. Sun Yet Sen. Jian loved racing our guide, Michael, up the stairs (392). Once again, we had many stares and pictures taken of us, partly because of the unique backpack Jon was carrying. We bought a carrier before we left so that Jon could carry Tanner. We were so thankful for it today, because he never would have made it up the steps!

It was fun to enjoy going to just do something fun and be finished for now, with official things (we have more to do in a couple of weeks).

I think things are going really well. We're getting used to the different smells, the different food (there are always bones in the chicken!!!), I'm not sure we'll ever get used to the traffic, but, I'm a little less anxious, and getting used to how to get around. We're all adjusting to each other, the boys each are enjoying being brothers, and it's becoming comfortable to be a family of 4. I will admit, this morning I looked at the calendar and responded "we've only been here 5 days????" It feels like a lot longer! It's not necessarily in a negative way - though, I'm already tired of eating out all the time, and, the neat freak that I am, I don't love how there's not a place for everything (though I'm trying to find one). This trip has been a good and stretching one for me in many ways.

Well, the boys are off swimming again, so, I need to sign off and go spend some time with them. We're so thankful for this special time together! Thank you again for your prayers for us, they're so appreciated and they're definitely being answered. We love receiving the e-mails, comments and calls on Skype! Jian especially loves seeing new people on Skype - he joins in and signs "I love you, OK, OK, OK"

More later!

Adoption Day

2010-09-27T02:15:00.001-05:00

Here are some pictures from yesterday. These are at the same office, the civil affairs office as the day before.

Hopefully these download in the right order, if so, the first two pictures are of us signing the adoption papers and answering the questions of the notary. We were asked our age, occupation, annual income, and if we promised to never abuse or abandon him. Then we had to sign. After that, Jian needed to answer questions and sign that he agreed he wanted to be adopted by us. HA, could you imagine what would've happened if he changed his mind right then?? I didn't think of that until now! :)

The next picture is Jian with the orphanage director (in blue) and her boss. Her boss (the lady in red) came to the adoption (my understanding is that this is not necessary or common) because she had a special friendship with Jian. They gave us a gift of a small, framed tapestry that's an old type of weaving done here, we were very touched! She also gave Jian 2 gifts: a necklace with a jade mouse (he was born in the year of the mouse), and a necklace with a stone and his name on it. He was very excited about these.

Then a picture of the new proud parents! :) When we got into the van from leaving the civil affairs office, Jian clapped and jumped up and down and asked "I'm adopted, I'm adopted, I'm adopted????" It was so precious!

After the adoption, our guide brought us to a flea market to find some activities for the boys to do (Jian prefers the technology things, so, we needed to find some other activities as well). We enjoyed walking around (where we were followed, stared at and had our pictures taken many times (because we're foreigners)), and finding some fun RC cars for the boys. We also saw many different types of animals for sale (I think as pets, but, am not 100% sure), many rabbits, turtles, baby pigs, squirrels, chipmunks, puppies and more (all stuffed into very small cages :( ). It was a very unique place to explore!

We then went to a nice restaurant for lunch. Our guide ordered for us and we all enjoyed celebrating the adoption! We ate close to the tanks of eel, frogs, turtles, and fish, all available for order!

Afterwards, we did what the boys are most excited about....swimming! I'm so thankful Jian loves swimming as much as Tanner! It's a great way to get their energy out and something fun for them to do!

So, that was our day!! As of yesterday morning, it is official, Qin, Jian Feng is now, Jian Feng Lee Bergeron!

Attempt to add video

2010-09-27T01:42:00.001-05:00

I don't know if this will work, but, I'm going to try to add a short video. This is of yesterday, at the civil affairs office to officially complete the adoption. (Sorry I didn't post again yesterday! We had a busy day and I was too tired to post again).

So, the interpretation of the video (if it shows up) is:

Tanner asking Jian "Do you want to join our family?" Jian's response (in ASL), "I want, want, want"

Hopefully this works!

OK - it doesn't look like it will let me, the video is too big :( So, here's a picture from when Tanner was asking Jian.

Today is Adoption Day

2010-09-25T19:13:00.001-05:00

Good morning from China!

We all slept well last night and feel refreshed this morning. We've had breakfast together, and are getting ready to go to the civil affairs office to complete the adoption.

Tanner woke up before Jian and really wanted to wake him up this morning. Once he woke up, they played together for a long time hiding under the blankets and laughing, a joyous sound!

This morning at breakfast Tanner asked Jian "Do you want to go to my school, Henderson Elementary School? We can put on our backpacks, walk to the street side by side, get on the bus and go to school together. Do you want to????"

We'll try to post more pictures of the day later!

Good night.

More pictures

2010-09-25T06:25:00.001-05:00

More about today

2010-09-25T06:19:00.001-05:00

Here are some more pictures of today, I will have to send them in 2 separate posts.

Jian is a very active boy - he loves technology (and checking out all technology we have in the room again and again). He really loves the Walsh's iPad (thanks for letting us borrow it!!) He's extremely curious and very smart. He's good at communicating with writing (mostly this is how he communicated in the orphanage). He's been writing with our guide for words we don't know, but, since they've been gone, we've been doing well figuring out with gesturing and looking things up in our Chinese sign language book. We'd forgotten how slow that was!! He has a fabulous laugh and had some questions about America (do we have a pool? do we have a car?) and understands that we're going there. We've shown him a calendar about how long we'll be in China, when we go to another city and when we'll be flying to America. He seems to understand that as well. He's been having fun with Tanner, playing around and acting like a brother, and of course, Tanner is loving it as well. Currently, Tanner is not feeling so well (hopefully all the excitement and lack of sleep is all), and so is sleeping (he didn't want to go eat) while I'm updating this. Jon and Jian went to go walk around and find some dinner.

Jian had a small bag with him with one shirt, a book of basketball players (he loves basketball and soccer, and doesn't like baseball :)), He also has 2 small books of pictures of himself at the orphanage and with some deaf friends over the years, we're so happy he has these. He also had a file folder of the pictures and letter we sent to him a few weeks ago. When we gave him the clothes we brought for him, he was excited about the shorts because he can use them to play basketball.

With his paperwork today, we were given a newspaper ad with his picture and description to see if anyone would claim him from 2006. There's also a copy of the original note that was left with him (apparently this is very unusual to have and to have his exact birthdate as well). Our guide explained it looked as if he was probably brought into Nanjing from a smaller, more rural town and was left at the train station, this was the type of characters used in the note. We were sad when thinking of the emotions and how hard that must have been for his parents to have to leave such a precious boy because he was deaf.

Jian loved looking at pictures on the computer. He looked at pictures from today over and over and liked to zoom in to see things closely. He likes the pictures of his bedroom in America, and looking at Hattie and Tanner's hamster.

I'm not sure he believed or fully understood that Tanner was deaf. He told me to be quiet when Tanner was sleeping, we explained he was deaf and Jon clapped loudly. Then, Jian went over and clapped several times and laughed and laughed.

Thank you for keeping up with us. Tomorrow we will be going back to the civil affairs office in the morning to sign the actual adoption papers, he will then officially be our son.

What a full day we've had! I hope this post wasn't too hard to follow! Thank you so very much for your prayers, they were clearly answered and we had a great day. When they left to go walk around, I was quite weepy, from all the emotion, the future, not enough sleep, etc. I pray that we can daily honor God through these 2 special boys that he has entrusted to our care.

And a family of three.....

2010-09-25T01:45:00.001-05:00

becomes a family of four!!

So, we currently have guardianship of Jian. Tomorrow we will sign all the official papers for the adoption.

He was very excited to see us and we've done pretty well at communicating! In fact, it's been better than we had expected - praise th Lord for answered prayers! Jian loved swimming in the pool and eats like a teenager!!

Tanner is absolutely loving having a big brother. They're enjoying each other and so far sharing nicely. The 3 boys just went out to try to buy superglue to fix Tanner's broken glasses :( Hopefully it will be a successful endeavor!

While they're out, I'm going to try to take a little nap. We will update more later, hopefully with more pictures and details for you!

Today is THE day!

2010-09-24T16:18:00.000-05:00

Good morning! It's 4:30am here. Jon and I have both been up for awhile. Nervous, excited, curious, etc. We're going to spend some time together in prayer and would love for you to join us. For us to have peace and to be able to communicate clearly to Jian! We've been practicing what we'll sign to him, and pray he'll understand! We also loved how God provided us the opportunity to see and speak to several of our family members and friends on skype today! We were moved to tears this morning as we were encouraged and reminded again of God's design in all of this as we read our friend Charity's blog. What a perfect way to start our morning.

Our day in Shanghai

2010-09-24T07:12:00.001-05:00

I think that there are pictures below this in a separate post - I don't think I can post pictures and write a post at the same time, and since I'm unable to actually see the website, I'm assuming that's the case and am posting an update separate from the pictures. The pictures are: Tanner in front of the Maglev train (the fastest train in the world, it goes 270 mph), Jon and Tanner in front of the Oriental Pearl tower, Tanner and I in front of the old Shanghai American School (where my Grandfather attended) and Tanner and I waiting to take the train to Nanjing (I look happier than I felt at that point)

Sooooo, we all got some sleep and woke up early and ready to go! We decided to brave the traffic and take another taxi to try to find the school my Grandpa DeKorne attended when he lived in Shanghai in the 1930's (I think it was during that time). It was exciting to find it - the school still exists, but, no longer in the same building. We went to the building that Grandpa attended and wondered if he rode his bike on the same streets we were on! We also surmised that he would be astonished at the differences now (including the Papa Johns pizza next door.) I was really excited to see this as it was the thing I most wanted to do in China. While I'm so happy for him that he's in heaven, I was sad that I will not be able to share this experience with him, as China held a very special place in his heart.

We then went back to our hotel to pick up our train tickets and have a cup of coffee. Tanner would have been content to sit in the lobby and watch the glass elevators go up and down all day long. He pointed them out about every 30 seconds :). Then, we walked around our hotel area and enjoyed walking by the river. We took a boat tour and had fun seeing all the buildings and a different view of Shanghai. There were some things that we saw here that were very different from what I expected. Some great things, and some that made us long for something different.

We then took a taxi to the train station. Today is the 3rd day of a 3 day holiday in China, there apparently are normally a lot of people (@23 million in Shanghai), but, there were many more because of the holiday. It made me extremely nervous and concerned with Tanner and our luggage - Jon did a great job of putting up with me and we were happy to pay some workers to help us get our luggage up several escalators, through all the people and to the right place at the train station. One very kind gentleman who spoke English helped us figure out where to find our seat numbers on the tickets. I was thrilled to finally just be ON the train and headed to Nanjing. This train only got up to 205mph along some stretches of track.

We arrived in Nanjing and our guide met us at the train station. They finally had a vehicle big enough for us and all our luggage (we've been in small taxis where our luggage needed a trunk and a seat of its own), and we didn't have to worry about where we were going for once. We are now checked into the Holiday Inn in Nanjing. It's a nice, new hotel with a big pool (Tanner's favorite). We walked around the mall, ate McDonalds (Tanner's request) after ordering from a picture menu, came back to the hotel and unpacked (since we'll be living here for 2 weeks) and are settling in.

Tomorrow morning we will meet our guide at 9:00am and then off to go meet our new son! We are excited, and nervous. Wondering what is going through his mind (if he knows we're coming, how much does he comprehend?), wondering how it will be for all of us adjusting to a new family member (and becoming a part of a family), wondering how nervous he will be, how nervous I will be?! I'm glad to be experiencing this culture and country, even if for a short while, to help me see how difficult it can be coming to another country, not knowing the language, different smells, different landscapes, different everything! During the many hours of traveling and not sleeping, I've been thinking back on some verses in Phillipians 3:20-21 "but our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body"

So, friends, tomorrow is the big day! I hope I'll be able to upload some video, but, we may have to wait until we arrive home. If I can't, we'll definitely download pictures as soon as we're able! Thank you for following along with us, and for your love and prayers on this journey!

Shanghai Pictures

2010-09-24T06:13:00.001-05:00

We've Arrived!

2010-09-23T03:38:00.001-05:00

We've arrived!

We are safely in Shanghai! It's 4:30 in the afternoon. We are worn out, but, thankful to be here! We're so grateful that Tanner slept a lot on the plane. Neither Jon nor I were able to sleep much, but, we're glad it's the afternoon so that we can get some dinner and go to sleep!

It was a little stressful getting to our hotel, Jon and Tanner enjoyed th Maglev train (that went 270 mph), then we took a taxi and then waited for our room to be ready and are now here in a nice room for the night. Tomorrow we will take a train to Nanjing.

It's a bit overwhelming being here in a new country, being tired, and in a few days, meeting our new son! Hopefully a little sleep will make everything better!

Travel update and a test

2010-09-20T12:23:00.001-05:00

This is a test to see if the blog updates ok from e-mail. In case
we're unable to connect to the website, I wanted to make sure this
worked as a backup!

So, we're leaving Wednesday morning at 6am. We fly to Newark & then to
Shanghai. We just found out on Friday that we'll need to stay a week
longer than we originally planned. Some of us are excited about this
and some of us aren't excited about this (well, just one of us isn't so
excited :)). This is due to being unable to get an appointment with the
US Consulate. So, it looks like we'll be coming home around the 15th of
October (though that's not set in stone yet). Though it will be a
little harder to stay longer, we're thankful we'll be together and know
that God arranged everything up until now - and are confident He'll
continue doing so from the other side of the world!

We're going to meet Jian for the first time (and keep him with us) on
Saturday, Sept. 25th at 9:30am! (that's 8:30pm CST Sept. 24th). WOOHOO!

OK - back to packing. Hopefully next time you hear from us, we'll be in
China!!

Meet Jian

2010-09-11T22:22:00.000-05:00

Well, it is finally official! Meet our new son, Jian Lee Bergeron. This is a picture that was taken a few weeks ago when he learned that we were trying to adopt him. September 22, which is exactly four months after our home study, we will be departing for China!!

We will be flying to Shanghai, will spend a couple of days there, then take a train to Nanjing. The adoption will take place there. We will then fly to Guangzhou to complete the paperwork to bring him back to the United States. We hope to be back by mid-October.

Tanner is thrilled, both to be flying on a big plane, taking a fast train, and getting a brother! He prays daily for Jian and thanks God for making his brother. We are thankful to have many people in our lives helping us to prepare both for the trip and for having an older son! I guess we'll need to change the name of this blog at some point too. :)

Tanner has been doing pretty well lately. We have some prescriptions to take along with us in case he has a migraine in China, to help us avoid having to go to a hospital there.

We want to write out all the amazing details that God orchestrated for this to happen, because you can't help but be amazed! But, for now, we wanted you to know that it's official, and we need to get back to preparing for our trip!

We would love your prayers for safety and protection on the trip, good health for us all, especially Tanner to not have any migraines, and for our bonding as we become a family. We hope to be able to update this blog as we travel if you'd like to follow along!

Cleveland Clinic, the end of summer, and a family of four

2010-08-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe the summer is almost over and school is about to begin again! Of course it definitely doesn't feel like the end of summer since it's been over 100 degrees here lately. We've had a busy few months and of course most of the things I had hoped to accomplish, were never done, but, some great memories were made - who will ever remember that the closets weren't cleaned or that math homework wasn't completed.

Since it's been awhile (again) since I've posted, this might be kind of long....sorry!

Since going to the Cleveland Clinic on July 23rd, we had a wonderful and restful week up at Glen Lake with my family in Michigan. Tanner loved the water and playing with his cousins. Here we are on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

I have a lot of other pictures from Michigan, but, they're hard to add on here, so I'll add them to Facebook soon (hopefully).

After arriving home from Michigan we have enjoyed visits with Jon's family for a couple of weeks including a fun day at a waterpark in the Dallas area with the cousins. Tanner loved that too!

So, for our trip to the Cleveland Clinic. It was a tiring few days and on the way there, we discussed our hopes for the visit and both anticipated that we wouldn't really learn any new information, but, were happy to be able to have another opinion. We were also unsure that all the traveling would be worthwhile, but, in the end we were very happy to have gone. The doctor we met with is a pediatric neurologist who specializes in headaches. After spending over 2 hours with us, we were pleasantly surprised that he had a new plan for Tanner. There weren't any new medications, but, we were happy to follow up with a new plan. He believes that Tanner does have both migraines (with cyclic vomiting syndrome) and daily chronic headaches. He told us that it's very rare for children to have daily chronic headaches, but, that does appear to be the case. For this, we're going to do some bloodwork and hopefully switch around his medications to try to get these better controlled. For the migraines, we have a plan to follow as soon as his symptoms start with multiple medications that will hopefully control the migraine and avoid hospital visits. He also has Tanner trying to avoid some specific items that can be triggers for migraines for the next 6 weeks.

We were very thankful that our neurologist here sent us there and are eager to see if these new ideas will help. What a blessing that we have knowledgeable doctors, the means to travel halfway around the country to find help, and health insurance to help with the expenses. We're so thankful for all the Lord has provided! We're sad that Tanner will probably always suffer with these headaches, but are thankful there are hopefully some ways to help him.

So, one more bit of news....2 months from now, we may be a family of four! It's a long story we'll have to write out here later, but, for now the short version is this. There is a 13 year old boy in China who is deaf that may become our son by September 29th. We would appreciate your prayers for this, for God's will to be done! There's obviously a lot more to this story :) this has been a possibility since the end of May and it's still up in the air as to whether everything will go through or not. Adoptions in China are a lengthy process and so for this all to happen, will be a true miracle and a wonderful testimony. Tanner is thrilled and prays every night for God to keep his brother safe.

Thanks for keeping up with us and caring for our family.

Summer Update!

2010-07-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a busy summer so far!
Before I even get to summer, I've been meaning to post an update from this past spring! I've tried unsuccessfully to edit a short video clip, so, instead I'll just add some pictures. In April we went to Isaiah's Place for the dedication of the new barn. It was a wonderful weekend and especially memorable because the barn was named in honor of Tanner! What a special time for us, and so fun to see the surprise on Tanner's face when he realized it was his name on the barn.

Another spring event was that Tanner completed the 3rd grade successfully and passed both the reading and math TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) tests!!! This meant that he was able to start summer 2 weeks earlier than I had planned! We were all somewhat surprised and also thrilled that he passed!

In June, we attended Family Weekend Retreat at the Texas School for the deaf where Tanner loved spending time with other deaf children.

Also during June, Tanner completed 2 weeks of swimming lessons, loving every minute! He was excited to complete the seahorse level this year and move up to the crocodiles next year.

We've also enjoyed the summer reading program at the library, playing with friends, swimming and getting excited about summer trips!

We just returned home from a trip to Cozumel, Mexico. We went with several friends and my parents met us there as well. Tanner loved spending time with Grandma while the rest of us went scuba diving. I don't have all of the pictures downloaded yet, but, here's one for now.

We are looking forward to a few days at Isaiah's Place next week for ASL VBS. It's very close to Jon's parents, so Tanner is excited to be able to spend some time with Grandpa and Grandma as well.

The last week of July we are scheduled to go to Michigan to spend some time with my family at a cottage on Glen Lake. We always look forward to this time of nice, Michigan weather, swimming, climbing the sand dunes, spending time with family, playing games and lots of rest.

Prior to the cottage, and after arriving in Michigan, we'll be driving down to the Cleveland Clinic (Cleveland, Ohio) to see a pediatric neurologist who specializes in headaches. Tanner's neurologist has run out of options for treating his migraines and is hoping a fresh set of eyes can look at him from a different perspective and hopefully have some new ideas for treating Tanner. We're excited that there may be some new options, and yet are trying not to get our hopes up too much.

So, that's our summer through July. I'll try to keep up a little better throughout the rest of the summer.

Happy Birthday Tanner!

2010-05-04T16:09:00.005-05:00

Today is Tanner's 9th birthday! It's hard to believe he's already 9! The other day he asked about his 1 year old birthday party. I explained we weren't with him for his birthdays when he was 1, 2, and 3, he didn't seem to mind. I told him I would show pictures of his birthdays with us, and decided to put them all here. I have some other posts to catch up on, but, I'll have to do that later - we're heading to Atami (Tanner's choice - sushi and Hibachi grill) for his birthday dinner.

This morning I was feeling a little sad about missing his first three birthdays, but, realized if we hadn't missed them, we never would have had Tanner to begin with! What a blessing that God chose us to be his second set of parents, we are so truly thankful!

4 years old!

5 years old!

6 years old!

7 years old!

8 years old!

9 years old!

Happy Birthday Tanner! What a special gift you are!

Spring is here!

2010-03-25T21:59:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we were all excited to be able to plant our vegetable garden. Tanner loves watching the plants sprouting up and can't wait to eat all the fruit and vegetables!

Last week was spring break here in Texas. Jon had to work all week, but Tanner and I were able to enjoy a few days camping with some of his family at Dinosaur Valley State Park. Tanner had a great time riding his bike, visiting Dinosaur World, playing with cousins, playing at the playground, sitting by the fire and being outside!

Tanner's migraines have started again. He's had several over the last few weeks. We went to the pediatric neurosurgeon on Monday hoping for some resolutions to the headaches, but, the possibility the geneticist had considered did not turn out to be the case. So, unfortunately, we're back to having no new options for treating the headaches and migraines (except maybe starting over with the old medications or increasing the current one).

Tanner also had bloodwork last week that may identify new genetic disorders - this will probably take several weeks to hear the results. He's had a lot of testing in the past, but, this is a new test he hasn't had, so, we're hoping it can find something new.

This week, I took some pictures of the irises blooming in our yard. These irises are always in our yard, with the leaves a constant green, though the flowers are only blooming about two weeks out of the year. During the time they bloom, when I'm outside or drive into the driveway, it really cheers me up! They're so glorious and beautiful, a lovely gift from our Creator. I sometimes find myself disappointed that they'll be finished blooming so soon, even before they're actually gone! I realized that I need to enjoy the flowers while they're here, yet also appreciate the leaves and greenery even when there are no blooms. The plant still looks pretty and adds color all year long, and if I didn't know about the flowers, I would probably appreciate the plants so much more. But, knowing the flowers are coming, I don't enjoy the plants as I wish I would. The green plants look nice, but, compared to the flowers, I usually don't think twice about them!

Similarly, I want to appreciate Tanner for whatever he has now. When we hear that he's lost ground cognitively and educationally, it sometimes feels like he's finished "blooming," but I forget to look at the "plant" and appreciate his joyful spirit and overall happiness. When we see him becoming weaker, or his headaches/migraines worsening, it sometimes feels like the flower is almost gone, and I worry that it might not come back next year. I become easily frustrated when he can't do things that he used to do, and I don't want to be constantly waiting for the flowers, I want to be accepting and appreciate the beauty that's already there! I also want to enjoy the blooms whenever that happens and for however long it lasts!

As we're approaching Easter, and thinking about death and resurrection, we're so thankful for a Savior who died and rose again for all of us!

Not Knowing

2010-02-09T16:17:00.004-06:00

Well, God is clearly trying to keep us dependent on Him and we're thankful that He is the omniscient (all-knowing) One! When we think we've become comfortable with Tanner's future, God reminds us that ultimately, we don't need to know what the future brings, because He does!

Today we went for a follow-up appointment with Dr. Matalon (the geneticist) in Texas City. We went expecting very little and assumed that we would leave with no new information. We explained to him some of the changes we've seen in Tanner over the last 6-12 months. Changes that include worsening balance, worsening fine mother skills, tremors, cognitive decline, increased headaches/migraines, increased weakness and intermittent blurriness in one eye. After discussing our concerns, he has decided to refer Tanner for some additional evaluations. He'd like some new bloodwork to be done that may identify additional genetic abnormalities. He's also recommending a neurosurgery and cardiology evaluation. To our surprise, he's not completely convinced that Tanner has leukodystrophy. But, if it's not, then the challenge becomes determining what is the cause of all of these problems.

So, as usual, we left with a lot more questions than answers but, we are hopeful that the neurosurgeon can help find some solutions for the headaches.

So, how do we feel about all of this? Confused, sad, hopeful and peaceful. A better description comes from the song "I will Rise" by Chris Tomlin. "There's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There's an anchor for my soul, I can say, it is well. Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed, the victory is won, He is risen from the dead."

With tears, we can continue to praise God for bringing Tanner into our lives and allowing us to glorify Him through these struggles.

We would appreciate your prayers as we make these new appointments, for wisdom in making decisions and sorting through this new information. Also, for us to be accepting of whatever comes as well as for us to be patient and comforting to Tanner as he struggles daily with pain and headaches. Thank you for your continued love and support for our family.

5 years ago....

2010-02-03T22:08:00.001-06:00

Last week Jon and I enjoyed Clearwater Beach, Florida. Jon had a conference and I was able to go along and enjoy the beach! We had fun spending time together, eating good seafood, walking on the beach, snorkeling with manatees and scuba diving! Tanner stayed home and enjoyed a fun week with the Walsh family. We are so grateful for their willingness to take care of him so that we could enjoy some time away.

While away, 2 anniversaries occurred. Our 17th wedding anniversary, and the 5th year anniversary of Tanner and Alexis' arrival! When I told Tanner that our wedding anniversary was coming up, he was excited and said that he wanted to walk ahead of us down the aisle and throw flowers - he was so sincere, I did everything I could not to laugh!

The other anniversary, January 28, 2005, was the day we met Tanner!! How our lives have changed in 5 years!

I spent an afternoon reading through the first few months of notes of daily activities that are required by the state for foster parents. I had forgotten so many things! Such as how much he hated to get dressed! There were daily notes for many months about how he would tantrum every morning when he had to get dressed, and then how he would love to see the bus when it arrived. It's great to look back and see the progression of his language, how he was learning please and thank you, learning to share and always excited to learn new signs. There were also daily notes of the many tantrums, 5-6 every morning before school and multiple times in the afternoons/evenings (one day it was noted there were a lot less tantrums that day, only about 20-25 total). There were also many descriptions of his difficult time going to sleep, learning to go to the bathroom, and even notes about headaches.

Who knew then that those headaches would still persist today, and that they would mean more than just headaches! Thankfully, the depakote is still working and his migraines have continued to be less and without vomiting! He's still having them occasionally (about once a month), but, not entailing ER visits.

We've both been struggling more lately, with seeing more regression, looking back and seeing things he used to be able to do and can do no longer. But, it's truly amazing the blessing of God's peace, there are still many emotions and much sadness, but, it's truly a peace that transcends all understanding.

I love how God often speaks through music! Yesterday, when Tanner was home from school with a migraine, I was really sad for him and that I could do nothing for his pain, and then I heard the following song and loved the reassurance it brought.

"Safe" by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart,

And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart

I can tell by your eyes you think you're on your own but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas

Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet

With a love so strong and never let you go oh you're not alone

Chorus

You will be safe in His arms, You will be safe in His arms

'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart

This is the promise He made, He will be with you always

When everything is falling apart, You will be safe in His arms.

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life

Is the very same voice that calls you to rise, So hear Him now He's calling you home

You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains, the hands that calm the seas

These are the arms that hold the heavens, they are holding you and me

These are the hands that healed the leper, Pulled the lame up to their feet

These are the arms that were nailed to a cross, to break our chains and set us free.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-08T21:00:00.001-06:00

Wow! It's the new year and it's again been a long time since my last post. Sorry to those of you who've been checking.

We had a busy December, with some of our activities including iceskating with Santa, making Christmas cookies & decorating a gingerbread house. We drove to Michigan for Christmas & on the way stopped in St. Louis for a few hours to see Nece, Steele (Jon's sister & brother-in-law) & nephew Trey. We had a fabulous week in Michigan spending a lot of time with family. Then, we had a fun week with our niece Cheyenne here between Christmas and New Year's and painted pottery, went bowling and to the Houston zoo. If you're interested in some pictures, you can see them by clicking here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=146098&id=605600215&l=b2c23453ef

Well, Tanner's migraines are still mostly at bay, praise the Lord! We're so thankful that we've not had any ER visits in the last few months! The new medication definitely seems to be working on the migraines. Unfortunately, it has not kept his daily, chronic headaches away. For the last month or so, he's had a chronic headache that has not been controllable. He's definitely not been himself. This week we started back on a medication he's been on previously to see if we can get this headache under control.

It's sad for us to see him hurting and not wanting to do things he normally enjoys because he's not doing well. He still does not complain and is an amazing boy. We can often tell he's not feeling well, but, it's also easy to forget he's crabby more than likely because he's not feeling well. I often then feel badly for reprimanding him. This is actually something we would love prayers for, to be patient & loving with him at all times.

We watched Tanner's adoption video recently and realized that he's definitely lost some of the skills he used to have, and this was difficult to see as well. Recently, I've been listening to the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. It's an excellent reminder to live and enjoy each and every day and moment. Tanner does this well, but, it was helpful to hear it in a different way and be reminded again!

A few weeks before Christmas Tanner became very interested in talking about death (this wasn't too long after Grandpa DeKorne's funeral). He asked a lot of questions and was very curious. Some were cute and funny, some were very serious and difficult to answer. He was excited that when he dies he'll get to be with Jesus. One very poignant moment, was when he was praying at dinner, he prayed "thank you, Jesus, that I will go to heaven and be with you and help mom and dad when they're sad, here on earth." WOW - of course, he does not even know that he probably will be going to heaven before us, nor does he know about the leukodystrophy. As hard as it was to see him sign that, it was really beautiful to see how the Holy Spirit is working in his life! The next day, Tanner went to school and informed everyone "you all will die, you will die in the future." I had warned one of the teachers, but, hadn't told them all - oops, it was a bit of a shock to everyone :)! He also told them that if they want to go to heaven, they need to ask Jesus in their heart! A great little evangelist!

We love how we see so often Tanner's tender heart. He prays about once a week, "Thank you that we can be a family, that I am mom and dad's son and that I am adopted." It is so precious and touching, what an amazing blessing we've been given.

We are truly so thankful that Tanner is in our lives for whatever length of time he's here. He is filled with such joy and brings it to our lives as well! Thank you for your love and prayers for us!

It's Fall!

2009-11-11T20:23:00.021-06:00

Wow - it's been 2 months since I've last posted! And I thought things would improve once school started.

I'll try to give you a quick synopsis of what we've been up to.

In early October we enjoyed a family reunion at Frontier Camp celebrating Jon's grandfather's 90th birthday (and the 40 year reunion of Frontier Camp). Almost all of the family was there and Tanner loved spending time with lots of cousins!
We enjoyed our first weekend of camping in our new (to us) pop-up camper! Tanner absolutely loved it and can't wait to go again.
We enjoyed a trip to Upland, IN to attend our 15 year college reunion/homecoming at Taylor University. We had a great time visiting with friends, enjoying the cool weather, visiting campus (though Tanner wasn't quite as thrilled as we were), and also spending time with family!
My parents came down with the other grandkids & we enjoyed spending part of the weekend together (Tanner was thrilled to spend time with his cousins!)
We were also able to enjoy some fun with great friends in Indianapolis, enjoying lots of coffee, good times, campfires, and fun at a pumpkin patch!The following weekend, we took an unplanned trip to Michigan to celebrate the life of my Grandpa DeKorne. He was 93 years old and a man who loved his Savior! Tanner wanted to stand up at his funeral and say something about grandpa. He stood up and signed "Grandpa is now in Heaven, I will see him again in Heaven. I liked playing with Grandpa. I love you and miss you Grandpa." It was so precious. The picture below is from January, 2009 when we were in Michigan. Just before leaving the funeral, my Grandma Lenger fell and broke her hip, requiring surgery. I was so thankful that I could stay an extra 5 days and spend time helping Grandma in the hospital. She's working hard and improving at a rehab hospital, and we're looking forward to seeing her walking around on her own at Christmas!For Halloween, Tanner wanted to be a soldier, just like Uncle Steele. So, Aunt Nece & Uncle Steele sent Tanner an air force uniform! He was so proud!
This past Friday Tanner went to a high school football game in his A&M Consolidated High School's football jersey from his friend Patrick & took pictures with some of the players. He really enjoyed being on the field before the game started. The second picture is of Coach Walsh, Tanner and Patrick. He was so proud and even was able to run out with the team before the game started!
So, that's the quick version of the last two months!

Tanner is still loving school and doing ok. He's not feeling as well as we'd like him to. He's had a few migraines that now include some visual disturbances (blurred vision). His new medicine seems to be helping the migraines, but, he still has daily, chronic headaches that don't go away & seem to be worse than previously. We've noticed some more balance problems lately as well.

So, we continue praying, worrying, and wishing for something different. Yet, we still know that there's someone greater, Who is all knowing, and all powerful, Who already knows what will happen and gives us His strength to get through each day.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

This and That

2009-09-17T19:55:00.016-05:00

So, I don't have a lot of new things to say, so, I figured I'd update on several miscellaneous things!

Tanner is really enjoying school. He's doing well in 3rd grade and learning a lot. He's in deaf education for reading and language, and is mainstreamed with an interpreter for the rest of his classes. He loves school, we're so thankful for that!

One day, in social studies, the children were writing what their parents jobs were, and Tanner wrote down that his Dad is an office worker and his Mom is a typist. We cracked up when we heard this! Yesterday he came home and admitted that he hit a student, and explained the boy laughed at his underwear. So, while trying not to laugh myself, we discussed next time, he should try to ignore the boy.

A couple of weeks ago we saw the pediatric neurologist, who was not very happy with how Tanner's migraines have been progressing. So, we've changed medications again. This is our last option for what's approved for children and has some side effects that we need to keep an eye on through regular bloodwork, but, so far, it seems to be working. We're weaning him off of 2 other medicines, so, we're happy to have him down to 2 instead of 4! We're also hoping and praying that this will work for a while, most of the medications seem to work for a couple of months and then lose their efficacy, we hope that doesn't happen this time. It's also been about 2 weeks since his last migraine, we're so thankful for that!

I'm not sure I've previously shared this before but, thought it was special and decided to write about it. One evening this summer, after we had been to the emergency room with Tanner I fell asleep, but, slept restlessly. I woke up in the middle of the night singing the chorus of a song from the Gaither Trio. I hadn't heard this song in many, many years - and yet, what a blessing and special comfort for God to give me this song. I sang the chorus for days, feeling such a comfort and reassurance - and thank the Lord for this amazing gift. Here's the song:

"Because He Lives" by Bill Gaither

God Sent His Son, They Called Him Jesus; He Came To Love, Heal And Forgive.
He Lived And Died To Buy My Pardon; An Empty Grave Is There To Prove My Savior Lives.

Chorus:
Because He Lives, I Can Face Tomorrow
Because He Lives, All Fear Is Gone
Because I Know He Holds The Future
And Life Is Worth The Living, Just Because He Lives

How Sweet To Hold A Newborn Baby, And Feel The Pride And Joy He Gives;
But Greater Still The Calm Assurance: This Child Can Face Uncertain Day Because He Lives.

And Then One Day I'll Cross The River; I'll Fight Life's Final War With Pain.
And Then, As Death Gives Way To Vict'ry, I'll See The Lights Of Glory And I'll Know He Reigns.

Labor Day weekend we took a trip to visit Jon's sister and brother-in-law, Nece & Steele at Whiteman Air Force Base in Missouri. Tanner loved all of the airplanes, and we enjoyed some relaxing time with family as well as the cool weather! Here are a few pictures from the trip as well as a couple of pictures from a fun day hiking and at a park this past Sunday.

End of Summer/Back to School

2009-08-25T19:50:00.001-05:00

Well, I finished out the summer following my routine of not posting much!

We enjoyed the rest of the summer (or, more accurately, the time before school starts, since it's still summer and 100 degrees!) with a visit from my mom, some swimming, shopping, playing, and spending time together.

Here are a few pictures from my mom's visit.The Sunday before mom left, Tanner had a migraine, so, she took a trip to the ER with me (for IV medicine to stop the vomiting and try to decrease the headache) and Jon was able to stay home and sleep so he could go to work on Monday.

A week later, he had another migraine and ER visit. We've decided that we're there a little too often when the people at the front desk greet Tanner by name! :)

His migraines are worsening and no one can really tell us much about this. We are assuming it is because of the leukodystrophy (on a leukodystrophy forum, a lot of people discuss their struggles with migraines as part of the disease). We've tried different medicines and adding, increasing and changing them, they all seem to work for a little while. We will see the pediatric neurologist next week and see if he has any new ideas.

It's very difficult to watch him suffering, but, it's amazing to see how he gets through and deals with it. He's really an inspiration. Despite watching him in pain, it's not easy, but, Tanner's attitude and perseverance make it easier to try to live out Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "

This morning I was reflecting on the gardens and seasons. Most of our plants and flowers are brown, wilted and pitiful. The last few tomatoes are turning red, but, for the most part, those plants are finished. Soon, though, with the beginning of autumn, some of the plants and flowers will perk up and flourish once again. I'm looking forward to sitting outside, enjoying the cool weather and the blooming flowers once again. We're hoping and praying that Tanner will be like the plants that flourish and perk up once fall arrives, but, recognize that the season of more sickness and pain is realistic as well. Thankfully, most of the time, we do feel that peace which transcends all understanding.

On to a more enjoyable topic, yesterday was Tanner's first day of 3rd grade! He was excited and ready to go. He had a headache & didn't feel great, but, definitely enjoyed the day! Here are a few pictures!

Goodbye July

2009-07-31T16:52:00.002-05:00

Well, I thought I'd try to get in one more update before the end of the month since I'm lagging in my summer posting, so, here it is!

Thank you for all your prayers while we were at TSD (Texas School for the Deaf) in Austin a couple of weeks ago, Tanner did GREAT! Thanks to everyone who cared for him - it was so helpful. He did not have any migraines, praise the Lord! It was even another week after we were home before he had one (which was 2.5 weeks since the previous one - yeah)!

We had a fun time at La Torretta in Conroe and enjoyed a relaxing weekend as a family. Tanner wasn't too thrilled back at home with only mom again, but, he's excited that Grandma Lenger is coming to visit next week (actually, we all are excited), so hopefully we'll have some fun things to share in the next post.

Have a great weekend!

Quick update

2009-07-09T15:10:00.004-05:00

Wow, I'm definitely not a good blogger in the summer! We are enjoying our summer and are looking forward to next week. Tanner will be staying with some friends and attending police camp at the children's museum, while Jon and I attend a communication skills workshop at Texas School for the Deaf in Austin (all in ASL). When the workshop is finished, we're all excited to spend the weekend at a hotel while Jon attends a conference for work.

Tanner's migraines have not improved. Since the last post Tanner has had 2 or 3 migraines and is trying to avoid one as I'm writing this. We've increased one of the medications and changed the time we give it to him and are praying that will start working soon.

I think that Jon and I have both been down lately because of this. Wondering about the future, trying not to worry. We are trying to focus on a Father who knows the answers and holds us all tightly in His arms, but, are still sad about the pain and suffering Tanner is going through.

We would appreciate your prayers for his headaches, and specifically, that he would not have any next week while we are in Austin. Thank you for your love for our family.

It's Summer!

2009-06-22T10:15:00.017-05:00

It's definitely summer here! We've been busy ever since school finished.

We had a great weekend in Rockport at Camp Aranzazu as soon as school ended. Our amazing hosts and friends Tammie and Tracy Shelton brought us fishing, taught us the high ropes, and showed us baby foxes. We did a few other things that weekend as well and had a memorable time!

Here is Tanner climbing the rock wall at the camp.

The day after we arrived home, Tanner began swimming lessons. He loves the pool and enjoyed being able to swim every day for two weeks!

Tanner also had his last baseball game along with the closing ceremonies and of course, a trophy!

Last week Tanner went to "Beyond the Moon" camp at the George Bush Library. He loved it! Rockets are a big interest right now, so it was a perfect thing for him to do. His favorite thing was to stand on a floor that vibrates & shakes as you watch videos of the space shuttle taking off - the first day he went on it 8 times! Eventually he had to be encouraged (AKA, forced to leave) to join the rest of the class & see some other things!

This week we have Sports Camp at our church every evening, Tanner is excited that he will be playing soccer. We're not looking forward to the heat though (high 90's)!

Health wise, things aren't as good as we wish they were. I started this post last Wednesday, and stopped because we had to bring Tanner to the ER due to another migraine. He's continued having them almost weekly and the pain seems to be worsening. Normally, the meds at the ER stop the vomiting and also take care of the headache. This time, it stopped the vomiting & helped him fall asleep, but, he still had the headache the following day. We're hoping and praying the medication that was increased a few weeks ago is still needing some time to kick in!

So, that's the latest news here! Tanner is waiting for a tennis partner, so, I'd better get going!

Birthdays and Baseball

2009-05-28T21:54:00.006-05:00

I realized recently that Tanner has now celebrated more birthdays with us than without us! It feels like a milestone, it's so great to have had 4 years of celebrating Tanner.

What a lot of change we have seen in the last 4 years! He's learned to communicate, his personality really shines as we see his sensitivity, generosity, and humor. He's become a fun and thoughtful little boy who has grown significantly, both physically (it seems as though he's getting taller everyday) and developmentally. We love spending time with him, learning more about him, teaching him and loving him!

Tanner has been having fun playing challenger baseball this spring - some pictures are below from the season so far. He does really well hitting the ball, but is not quite as attentive on the field. He loves playing and we're so thankful he had this opportunity.

Tanner's migraines have started up again and have been occurring weekly for the past month. The medications haven't been working to stop the vomiting and he feels pretty bad. Fortunately, it usually only lasts for an evening and he feels better in the morning. He's mostly pretty cheerful despite his misery, he'll smile and sign I love you, even while vomiting, what a trooper! The doctor has recently increased one of his medications, so, we're hoping that starts working soon (it hasn't started yet, as he had another migraine tonight :( ). We would appreciate your prayers that this medication increase would start working soon, it's so hard to watch him suffer.

We're looking forward to going to Camp Aranzazu in Rockport this weekend to help them prepare for summer campers and visit with friends. It will be a nice celebration to the end of the school year!

a long-awaited visit...

2009-05-20T20:04:00.002-05:00

We've been quiet on the blog lately as we've been busy spending time with our great friends Jim, Heather & KJ who came for a visit! We had a great time fishing, sailing, biking, playing games, drinking coffee, enjoying childrens museums, hanging out and watching the boys play (and fight) together.

Below are a few pictures from a memorable week.

On the health front, Tanner has been doing well overall. He's had a couple of migraines over the last month, but, thankfully they've been controllable without any ER visits.

We're looking forward to school being finished in a week and a trip to Rockport, swimming lessons, "Beyond the Moon" day camp, a weekend at Texas School for the Deaf with other deaf children & their families, and sports camp at church - and that's just June!

Tanner's New Bike

2009-05-03T20:34:00.005-05:00

Tanner received new wheels for his bike from Aunt Nece & Uncle Steele for his birthday. Jon attached them to the bike we bought him a few weeks ago & then built a new trailer for Tanner to haul things around. Here's my first video editing attempt to show off the new bike! Tanner is LOVING it!

(To avoid conflicting music - scroll down to the music on the right sidebar and press pause)

2 years ago....

2009-05-01T09:55:00.003-05:00

Two years ago today we were in the courthouse for Tanner's adoption! To celebrate we will be going out to dinner (Tanner's choice: sushi) and watching the adoption video. What a joyous occasion! We love to talk about Tanner's adoption and how he became part of our family. It's such a beautiful picture of becoming a part of God's family!

We're going to have a fun weekend filled with parties. Tonight we'll celebrate his adoption, tomorrow is Tanner's birthday party, and then Monday is his 8th birthday! It's so great to celebrate Tanner.

So many changes have occurred over the last 2 years (including him growing several inches!) Some are wonderful, some are sad, but, they are all memories that have happened together as a family.

Today I kissed an angel. I knew it from the start.
The first time my angel smiled at me; I gave away my heart.

Today I kissed an angel; this angel child of mine
Though not of my creation, My child by God's design.

Today I kissed an angel; My heart is dancing wild;
Our family, by a miracle; Blessed by our angel child.
Brenda Meece

Bikes, Bluebonnets & Bloody noses

2009-04-08T13:48:00.002-05:00

Don't worry, despite the title, there are no graphic pictures involved.

Here are several pictures of Tanner's new bikes. The red one is his new bike that we bought a couple of weeks ago. Jon added training wheels to it, but, Tanner is still having a hard time riding it (he can't balance it well and his reaction time is too slow to catch himself before falling). Jon's working on some ideas for bigger training wheels. Then, last weekend we were at Jon's parents celebrating family birthdays, where Tanner had fun riding cousin Tyler's bike. So now, Tyler is letting Tanner borrow his bike for a while. He loves riding it every day and enjoys loading sticks, rocks, flowers (aka weeds), and more into the trailer.
We made it out while the bluebonnets were still blooming this year! Tanner liked it for a few minutes until he realized there were stickers (aka prickers) in the grass! Hattie didn't like them either & needed to be carried (yes, she's a little spoiled!)

On to the bloody noses (don't worry - no pictures here!) Tanner has started up with chronic nose bleeds again, so, he's scheduled for a surgical procedure this Friday (April 10th) to cauterize some blood vessels that are too close to the surface. Hopefully he'll recover quickly and can be distracted by the circus on Friday night!

We've recently decided to take a break from occupational and physical therapy. Though we miss our therapists and friends there, it's so great to be able to be home every day after school for the first time in 4 years!! I think this will be a good break for Tanner to be able to come home and play, do homework, go to the library, etc. We'll have him re-evaluated again in a couple of months and see if there's been any change and decide where to go from there.

It's been a little over a year since Tanner's leukodystrophy diagnosis. Throughout the year we've seen some regression, including the chronic & worsening headaches & migraines (which seem to be better controlled right now with an added medication! He's had no migraines for 3 weeks, yeah!!), and, some progression in other areas. We're so thankful that he doesn't seem to be having too much cognitive decline!

Spring and Easter time are such a beautiful time of the year to remind us about new life. We were recently working on our yard and I realized we didn't do much yard work last year because of our focus on Tanner's situation. This spring, we're cleaning up old leaves and things from the last 2 years, it's a lot more work, but the end result is a beautiful yard where we can enjoy beautiful creation. It kind of feels like our lives too, things are dark and dreary, but, underneath there's new growth that's green and turning into something new! Despite the dark times, there are also bright times as well, that show new growth that come only because of what has been there covering it for the past year. I think that God has been using Tanner's situation to help us appreciate life so much more. This spring, it's nice to be able to be a little less focused on the disease, and more focused on spending time together, enjoying each other, laughing more, playing more and learning to love each other better!

This is, of course, not the year we had planned nor expected, but, it's truly been a good year. A lot of good memories, new experiences, and more lessons in learning how to depend daily on the only truly dependable One!

Happy Easter! He is risen!

Bonaire!

2009-03-27T13:37:00.002-05:00

We had a fabulous spring break on the island of Bonaire. What an amazing and memorable week. Along with us on the trip were, Kyle and Audra, Kyle's parents Bill and Janet, and our friends and dive experts, Tammie and Tracy.

We stayed at a beautiful resort that Tanner had figured out in no time. He knew where everything was and walked around like he owned the place. He made friends with everyone there, including all the animals! He liked waving and signing hello to all the iguanas, hermit crabs, birds, crab and fish. He enjoyed knowing where to go, who was staying where, and leading us all around.

We saw amazing and beautiful things while scuba diving and Tanner had a great time with Bill and Janet while we were diving every morning. Tanner absolutely loved snorkeling and seeing all the beautiful fish and coral.

Tanner behaved so well all week. We couldn't have asked for him to be any better! We were so thankful that he didn't have any migraines (he had one the night before we left which reassured us that he probably wouldn't have one while we were gone).

One of Tanner's favorite activities was watching the cruise ships come and go every day. He never tired of watching them and loved explaining how the ropes came out, hooked up to shore and how they pulled the ropes in again to leave every evening.

The Walsh's and Tanner visited a group of people with disabilities one day. There were many crafts that they made, and Tanner was convinced he needed a painting of "the sunset, the ocean and the sand." There's a picture below of him with the lady that painted the picture. He is so proud of it, he carried it with him everywhere!

Well, I could go on and on, but, the pictures say it better! Here are a just a few!

Waiting

2009-03-04T20:30:00.000-06:00

Wow - it's already March! We've had a busy few weeks that included a marriage retreat for parents of adoptive children and a visit from our friend Charity (pictures are of Charity's visit). We had a great time with her here and Tanner was very disappointed when she left (in fact, he woke up at 4am the night after she left and signed that he missed her and wanted her to come back). The trip was too short, but, memorable.

One evening this week Tanner was in the dining room while Jon was at a meeting and I was in the kitchen. He came to get me and urgently told me to follow him, then banged on the window and was signing "look outside, look! The sky is pink, the sunset in the sky!" He was thrilled to be looking at the sunset and we went outside and enjoyed the sunset together! The next morning he was just as excited to enjoy the beautiful sunrise. What a great reminder from Tanner to be thankful and enjoy things that we often don't even think twice about!

In less than 2 weeks it will be spring break and we will be enjoying a trip to Bonaire! Tanner is excited to use his new passport and go to a different country. We are going with friends and looking forward to seeing the Caribbean both from on top and underneath - while scuba diving! We're excited to go somewhere new and experience it with Tanner (he's not old enough to dive yet, but maybe snorkeling :)).

Tanner has continued having migraines. Two weeks ago we ended up in the ER because his vomiting from the migraine wouldn't stop. They were able to give him IV meds to stop the vomiting and the headache. Last week the neurologist added a new medicine that will hopefully help.

I've heard the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller a lot on the radio lately (from the movie Fireproof). I hear it and often think of Tanner and that it feels like we're always waiting. Waiting for answers (that may never come), waiting for him to feel better, waiting to see if he gets worse, and so on. The song reminds me to worship, and through the pain and waiting, continue to be focusing on our Creator and remember that He knows and is with us while we are waiting. It also reminds me that I don't need to just be waiting, but, enjoying what we have while we're waiting. In case you haven't heard it, here are the words from the song:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Health Update

2009-02-11T21:20:00.003-06:00

Our latest update isn't the greatest one. Tanner's headaches have been getting worse. The migraines seem to occur much more often. He of course is an amazing boy and still rarely complains. He wants to do everything and doesn't let the pain stop him. Today, he didn't want to go to school and that told us a lot, he NEVER wants to miss school.

At this point no one really has any answers and there's not much we can do. It's of course, very difficult to watch him suffer and we wish there was more we could do. It makes us fearful for the future, but, we are so thankful for such a strong little boy, because he tolerates things so well, it helps us continue to go on.

Thank you for your love and prayers. We rest in remembering II Cor. 12:9 " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

4 years ago....

2009-01-25T20:28:00.005-06:00

Four years ago today, our lives changed forever! We were home in the early afternoon waiting impatiently. We were waiting for CPS to come and bring 2 children to our home. Two children we'd never met, one we couldn't communicate with, and they were going to be left at our home for us to care for! We were anxious, excited and scared! Then soon enough, Alexis and Tanner were here, Tanner came in with no shoes (because he kept taking them off in the car). Alexis would turn 5 the next week and Tanner was 3.5. We showed them their room, and whenever we would look at Tanner he would sign "I Love You" because that's one of the only signs he knew and he used it whenever he thought he would be in trouble! Less than 2 hours later the caseworkers left and there we were with 2 children!!

We never imagined that they would both stay for almost two years, nor did we ever dream that one of them would become our son! What a change the last 4 years have brought! Many blessings, fears, sadness, uncertainty and mostly more love than we could have ever thought possible!

What a mighty God we serve!

Here are a couple of pictures from that day.

The frozen tundra.....aka a visit to Michigan

2009-01-23T10:15:00.010-06:00

We are back home from a great trip to Michigan. We went for a late Christmas celebration with my family and a 90th birthday party for my Grandma DeKorne. We had a restful time and enjoyed spending time together. We played the Wii, played outside (a little bit, but, not too long since the highs were about 20 degrees!), had Christmas and mostly had fun being together. Tanner loved being with his cousins. We were also able to see my dad sing at a concert (with the Calvin College Alumni Choir), which was a real treat.

Tanner is doing ok. He's had a little trouble with headaches again this week at school. He gets weepy and grumpy but always keeps going! We talked to the neurologist just before we left and we've increased his medicine again, so, hopefully that will start working in the next month or so.

Here are a few pictures from our trip.

Tanner with me & my Grandpa DeKorne

"the girls" celebrating Grandma DeKorne's 90th birthday
(me, my mom, grandma, Kristi & Julie)

Ryan, Matt, Lilly & TannerTanner and great-Grandpa Lenger laughing together when the chair fell over!a visit with my grandma & grandpa Lenger

Ode to Ody

2009-01-12T13:48:00.007-06:00

Today we lost our sweet Ody. We adopted Ody from South Central Bloodhound Rescue in September, 2000. Ody was found wandering south of Dallas and he had been hit by a car. He had some hip surgery and had been abused. He was always scared of men, but, still wanted love and petting from everyone. He's not had an easy life, but, he's always loved us unconditionally! He loved to be at home and one of his favorite things was to lay in the sun. He also loved to swim and play tug-of-war. He and Hattie would play for a few minutes every day together (until the last few days) followed by long naps.

We are all so sad, but are happy that he's no longer hurting and is running and playing happily in heaven. It finally hit Tanner once we started burying Ody, he came inside and sobbed.

Who could've asked for a better friend? He didn't care what was going on as long as he would get some love! We love you and will miss you terribly Ody!

December Fun!

2009-01-05T22:13:00.007-06:00

OK - so, I've been really delinquent in any posts over the holidays. So, below is a summary of what we did in December! We had a fun and busy month and are happy that school started again today so we can all try to get back into a routine. More later!

The Bethlehem Candle

2008-12-23T16:39:00.002-06:00

I've been a little negligent in posting during these busy weeks of the holiday season. We have a lot of fun pictures (school play, skating with Santa, making Christmas cookies, building a Gingerbread house, etc.), that I will post after Christmas (they're on the computer at home and we're in Whitney at Jon's parents).

Tanner has had a several migraines again over the last several weeks. The medication seems to help them be not as severe, but, they still keep occurring. We saw the geneticist again recently and he has no more answers at this time, but, is continuing to do more testing.

The advent candle that was lit this past Sunday was the Bethlehem candle that symbolizes Peace. I've thought about that the last couple of days and have been so thankful to the Lord for the peace that He has brought us both through His son's birth, and also the peace He gives us with Tanner's diagnosis. Despite the pain and struggles and unknown, we truly do have peace. We are so thankful that we can have this special time to celebrate our Savior's birth! We hope you have a wonderful, joy-filled Christmas!

Our Little Snow Angel

2008-12-10T20:18:00.012-06:00

Can you believe we had snow in College Station today? It started with sleet and a few snowflakes this morning and then snowed quite a bit more this afternoon! Tanner was excited and signed - same as Michigan! He made a snow angel and a small snowman and then wanted to have a snowball fight, but, Mom is not as much fun as Dad. Jon is currently in San Diego for a conference and is missing out on all the fun, he would've thrown snowballs with Tanner. I just told him he could throw them at the car and I would take pictures (nice huh?). The two of us had a relaxing afternoon together; enjoying a fire, playing in the snow, finishing up some Christmas decorating and drinking hot chocolate. I also added a picture of Tanner, Hattie and Ody enjoying their advent story. Tanner is loving the daily advent stories and learning more about the true meaning of Christmas. What a joy it is to see him learning that Christmas is not all about Santa and gifts and what it's really all about. Though, it's also fun seeing him talk about Santa and the reindeer landing on the roof, coming down the chimney, leaving gifts & taking off again. If you ask him where Santa is right now, he's working at the mall :)

Tanner continues to have his daily, chronic headaches, but, hasn't had any migraines for over a week. We're happy about that, but, disappointed the daily headaches are continuing. A few days ago Tanner was really energetic, playful, and happy and we realized that he didn't have a headache that day! We thought that maybe the medicine was starting to work, but, the next day he was more lethargic and less perky. It was sad to realize how much this affects him. We haven't seen him feel that good in a while and so it's easy to forget what he was like before the headaches. It's hard to see him hurting and then realizing how much it affects his everyday life. You could continue praying for these headaches to subside so that Tanner can be more like a normal little boy again!

Tomorrow night (12/11) Tanner will be in the annual deaf Christmas play at school. He's excited to be the forest ranger and has been performing his part during practice professionally and taking it very seriously - it's so adorable. We're looking forward to a fun weekend of ice skating with Santa and attending a deaf Christmas play at a deaf church in Houston before Jon comes home on Monday. We're definitely having a fun-filled and busy holiday season! We hope that yours is enjoyable and restful as well.

A Terrific Thanksgiving

2008-12-02T20:09:00.015-06:00

We hope you had as nice a Thanksgiving as we did! We had a fun weekend with my parents here. On Wednesday we met some of Jon's family at the zoo in Waco. On Thursday we enjoyed a nice Thanksgiving dinner and games with my parents and our friends the Boysen's. Besides visiting Santa's Wonderland and being entertained by the hayride to see the Christmas lights, we also had a memorable time cutting down our Christmas tree. My Dad thought it was interesting to be cutting down a tree in the midst of cactus with no snow (though it was chilly that day, so it sort of felt like winter.) Tanner loved picking out a tree and wanted to cut down the first tree he saw (actually, he wanted to stop and cut down all Christmas trees that he saw - even on the side of the highway :)) but, he was patient and waited until mom found one she liked better.

On the health front, Tanner has continued having headaches. They seem to be occurring daily, he often wakes up with a headache and usually goes to sleep with one as well. We saw the neurologist today and are increasing his medication again. Hopefully this will help decrease the migraines, but, he's not sure it will help the daily chronic headaches. This is hard. We hate to see him suffering and not being able to do anything to help. The verse that was chosen for Tanner's dedication at church is an encouraging one.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Cousins at the zooGrandpa & Grandma Lenger with Tanner (bison in the background)

Tanner and Great-Grandma Heberta warm Thanksgiving afternoon

a fun hayride through Santa's Wonderland

This is the one!

Tanner's rendition of the tree farm, the tractor and hay ride

Christmas 2008!

ASL Stories and Teaching Dogs Math

2008-11-24T10:01:00.009-06:00

Tanner is doing some better, but, didn't feel great this weekend. Friday evening he wasn't himself, but still enjoyed our trip to Waco to see Peter Cook, a deaf storyteller. Here are a few pictures from the evening. Tanner was able to participate in one of the stories with several other kids about a boy at the dentist. He loved being a part of it and was not shy at all. You can see from the last picture that he wasn't feeling great.
Tanner had another migraine yesterday (Sunday) & had a rough afternoon. Later, we were able to get a little work done on math, and Tanner decided Ody needed to learn about tens and ones as well!

We are looking forward to Thanksgiving, Shelly's parents are coming in from Michigan Tuesday night and Tanner has been counting down the days! In case we don't update before then, we hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!