Jian's 1st Adoption Day!

Today we celebrated Jian's adoption day! One year ago today we completed the official paperwork in China for his adoption.  We've been looking at pictures and videos over the last few days of those days one year ago.  

Meeting & chatting with Jian 9/25/2010

Jian has watched the videos many times over the last year and laughed at himself and talked about not understanding a lot of what we were signing.  The last few days have been a little hard for him, probably anticipating the anniversary of his adoption and a lot of feelings being stirred up.  Tonight we had a great time eating dinner with friends at a Chinese restaurant and he was so excited and happier than we've seen him for a while!

Opening adoption gift 9/26/2011

What a year it's been!  We've had many ups and downs, but, overall, many more ups than downs and we've seen amazing changes over the last year!  Jian's ASL is amazing, now we just try to remember some Chinese signs and only use our translator app for school!  His English is improving and mostly, his behavior has improved!  He's a joy to have around, he makes lots of jokes and is mostly comfortable being a part of our family!  He's in school full time, playing football, participating often in class, and making friends.

Though we often have hard times, hard days, hard moments, it's a joy to remember this is where God purposed Jian to be long ago and it's a great reminder of His sovereignty!  What a wonderful day to celebrate, and a fun time to look back and see all of the changes that have happened in one short year!

One year ago....

One year ago, we were in a hotel room in Nanjing, China, anticipating meeting our new son in the morning.  I remember being nervous, anxious, excited and stressed. I look back and vaguely remember thinking: How does one suddenly parent a 14-year-old from another country that uses another language that has never had a family before?  How does one teach and love and nurture someone who's been raised in an institution?  How does one choose to do this?

With a mighty and sovereign God guiding them, that's how.

It's exciting for us looking back and remembering, it was still nerve-wracking, but, clearly, God ordained, and so much easier to follow knowing it was His plan!  But, for Jian, how difficult and unnerving to realize he was going to go with a family to a new country, a new culture, a new language, and a new life.  Yes, it was exciting for him, but, absolutely out of his realm of knowledge and comprehension, and leaving behind everything he knew, both good and bad.

It's hard to believe that one year ago right now, we were anticipating meeting our son in less than 12 hours.  One year ago right now, all we knew about the boy who was to be our son we'd only read about in e-mails and seen in short videos.  One year ago right now, we were a family of three.  One year ago right now, God was preparing our hearts to learn how to become parents to this boy that we'd never met and didn't know, that we would learn to love.

One year ago right now, we were preparing to meet a boy that had a name given from an orphanage, no future and no hope, and within 24 hours, thanks to God's amazing provision and plan, he was given a new name, a future and a hope.  What a blessing that God could show us a perfect picture of His gospel through giving us a son.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Summer is on its way out

So, since it's almost fall (though it doesn't feel like it here in Texas), I figured I should finally write an update on our summer.  I'll put some pictures below of some of our fun summer activities.  We didn't take any big trips this summer to try to keep things a little more on an even keel for Jian and help him continue to settle in.  We took a few weekend trips, but mostly stayed around home.  Jian and Tanner both attended swimming lessons, (Jian looked like he'd been swimming for years even though these were his first lessons), Jian attended basketball camp, a football camp, and strength and conditioning camp.  We tried to keep him busy with activities!

The boys have started school and are doing great!  Tanner is loving being in 4th grade at his new elementary school (the deaf ed program moved from one school in the district to another), and Jian is doing great in the 8th grade.  He's thrilled to be playing football and he's extremely motivated to do well in school so that he can continue playing sports!  We're so thankful that he's motivated on his own and wants to do well in class to continue playing football.

We're looking forward to celebrating Jian's 1 year adoption and his 15th birthday next week!!  More on that soon!

Swimming lessons and looking cool!

Having fun at a lake in Denton with the Livingston family

Cooling off in Denton

After our caterpillars became butterflies, we let them go

Jian's first time skiing at Lake Whitney

Tubing on Lake Whitney by Grandma and Grandpa Bergeron's house

Helping Grandpa Bergeron drive the boat

Jian ready to do some skiing with the cousins

Tanner loved riding in the boat and watching everyone tube and ski

Having fun fishing at our neighborhood lake.  This is Jian's new favorite activity.

1st day of school 2011!

Having fun when Grandpa and Grandma Lenger came to visit!

Enjoying his fans

Going in for the tackle

Jian's first football game

We were made for more than this....

It's been a busy summer, we've been having fun doing a lot of activities (I'll post some pictures one of these days - maybe after school starts :)), trying to stay cool (we've had very little rain and many 100+ degree days), and trying to continue to learn how to live with each other.

We have had Jian for 10 months. WOW!  10 months!  A year ago right now we were still very unsure whether we would even have a new son!  Some days it feels like he's always been with us, and some days it feels like we're living with a stranger.  I'm sure he thinks the same thing :).  Maybe this is what all parents of teenagers think, but, wow, God has sure called us to learn to be more dependent on Him!  Some days, I feel like we have a 10 month-old son, some days a 5 year-old and other days, a 14 year-old going on 20.

Jian truly is a delight and makes us laugh a lot!  He's great with humor and sarcasm, he loves to be active and play sports, but, he's not very good at entertaining himself!  He's now able to do something on his own for about 20-30 minutes!  He also still has so many things to learn/unlearn!  Some days it's so overwhelming to think about all the things to teach/re-teach in the short time we have with him, but I try to remember it's not our responsibility to make sure what he learns for the future, it's our responsibility to parent him today, to teach him what we can for today, to show him love, discipline, and patience, and to point him to his Creator, just for today!

I've heard it said that to teach a child something new they need to see/hear it @8,000 times.  I've wondered, when you're re-teaching something, how many more times do you have to show them, 10,000 more?

I'm reminded daily of my limits as a human and as a parent.  I sometimes think about how hypocritical I seem trying to teach him how to live when I don't always do the same!  God has definitely humbled me and helped me to see how much I need Him because this is not something we could do without His guidance!

So, as if you couldn't tell, we've had some rough days lately, but, those rough days are becoming easier and Jian handles them better than he did 6 and 8 months ago.  Some days it helps a lot to talk about China.   We talk about the orphanage, his past, his history, and how difficult it is growing up for 14 years without a family, without someone teaching you, without boundaries, and then, having all of that along with a new culture, new home, new language and more.

We're all improving again and feeling better, but, some of us are really ready for school to start again (20 days if we were counting)!  Some days a constant shadow gets a little tiring, but, I'm also thankful he wants to be nearby.  It's great to have his perspective and see the things he's teaching us.

Last night, after a very poignant conversation with Jian at the dinner table, I said to Jon, I don't know how I can be so irritated and frustrated with him at times like this, when I look back and realize he's only been here 10 months and says things like this!  (The conversation was about wanting to go back to China and tell his friends about God - and how God is the REAL and only God, that their idols will not help them, and that God  loves them no matter what they do (this is a brief summary of the discussion)).

So, despite the frustrations and irritations, and wanting to get away and have some alone time around 5:30pm every day (well, maybe starting around 4 or so :)), we recognize and remember that we are truly blessed, and also that this is real life.  It's not easy and there's no way around it to make it any easier, except digging in and going through the hard times.  I often try to find answers in books (there are definitely helpful ones out there), articles, other parents, but forget so easily that there's not 1 answer and there are no easy answers, it would definitely be convenient, but, then it would make me think I'm doing something great instead of relying on The Answer and the One who can get us through!  The hard days remind me that we were made for more than this - that this world is not our home!  And on the good days, I'm thankful that our future home is one where we'll all be together again praising the One who created our family and created THE family!

A Big God in a Small World!

A few weeks ago our family went to Austin to Family Weekend Retreat at Texas School for the Deaf.  This is an annual event for families in Texas with children who are deaf.  We've gone for the last 5 or 6 years and this was Jian's first year to attend.  When we arrived, we ran into a lady that we've seen every year and who used to work with Tanner when he was about 2-3 years old before we ever had him.  She always loves to see him and how much he's grown and how different he is!  It's great to see her and several other teachers that remember him from his life before he lived with us.  So, this teacher met Jian for the first time and told us about another boy that lived in the area and was adopted from China and is deaf.  She contacted his family to see if they were interested in coming to TSD to meet Jian.

We all had a great time on Friday - Jian did great with the teenage group (though he was nervous at first, he did great and found a couple of friends that he hung around with for the rest of the weekend), Tanner had fun with his group and we enjoyed the meetings.  Friday evening was family game night and the teacher came over and told us the boy she had told us about would be coming.  He came in with his dad and the boys were chatting and we talked about his adoption 10 years ago.  After a few minutes, we were all shaking our heads as we realized these boys were from the same orphanage and must have lived together 10 years ago, prior to the young man's adoption at the age of 4.  They realized that they might have pictures of Jian from that time and their trip to the orphanage in December of 2000.  We were all so excited and shocked at the seemingly unbelievable news that these 2 boys in Austin, Texas actually lived together at an orphanage in Nanjing, China 10 years before.  The boys enjoyed chatting, and we kept trying to wrap our minds around this news.  Jian was so excited and couldn't wait to see if there were pictures of him.  This is something that he's talked about before, his disappointment at not having any pictures of himself as a baby or as a boy.  The earliest picture we have of him was at about age 9 or 10.  He loves looking at other people's family pictures and I always feel sad for him knowing we will never have the same for him.

Saturday morning, I checked my e-mail again, and lo and behold, there were TWO pictures of Jian at age 4!!!  He was beyond thrilled and wanted to show them to everyone.  It's so clear that the pictures are of Jian!

We're so thankful for such an amazing God that we serve.  He gave Jian these 2 pictures of him as a boy.  In the grand scheme of things, these are not a big deal, but, to this boy who lived 14 years without a family and has a history that only he and God knows, they are a precious gift.  What a beautiful gift from a loving Father!

Here are the pictures!

Jian - age 4 - on the far left in the blue coat

Jian - December, 2000 - age 4 (on the right)

Isn't he so precious??