Family

2 years ago today we officially became a family. What a whirlwind it was to becoming parents a second time!  To us (as parents), that meant something....family.  It meant a new son, one we don't know well yet, but, now the eldest child in our family.  It meant that we would love him, care for him, feed him, provide for him, teach him, discipline him, and guide him.  As parents, it meant as a family we would go on vacations together, attend school functions, help him with his homework and drive him places to participate in events.  It would mean disagreements, saying no, listening to painful parts of his past, and knowing we were not there for his growing up years.  We had expectations, but, tried to keep them in check.

To him, family meant something completely different. It didn't really mean anything. It didn't mean security or safety, love or provision.  Family meant pain and fear, uncertainty and the unknown.  People had always left him, no one took care of him, and no one protected him.  And now he's going to a new country, new culture, new languages, new rules, and a new family.

Holidays and anniversaries are wonderful times for us, full of tradition and memories, fun and time together.  For him, it's more reminders of the pain of the past and the unknown of the future.    Will this family really care for me?  What does love mean?  Will they keep me?

Last year, anticipating celebrating one year as a family was not a time of fun and excitement, though we celebrated.  It was a hard time for everyone.  Though, one year is a very short time to have been a family.  This year, things are different.  They're better. It's been a hard year, but, things are improving.  It was a hard summer with a lot of extended family that caused a lot of heartache for Jian and for us.  Being together seems so joyful to us, and yet it's a constant reminder of what he never had, and he feels left out and uncertain.

He anticipates trips and doing something new, but, being with family does not stir up feelings in a positive way for him.  He doesn't necessarily know what he feels, but, it's a mixture of pain, anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness and more.  We're always hoping and praying that by continuing to spend time with family and friends it will help him improve and see what family truly means.

I thought about writing this post at the end of summer when we were struggling and getting ready for school to start.  I never got around to it.

Then, four weeks ago, Jian broke his arm in his first high school football game.  He needed emergency surgery to repair the broken bones with plates and screws.  He then developed compartment syndrome that required 4 days in the hospital and 2 additional surgeries including a skin graft from his thigh.  The road back to health is going to be a long one, but, the benefits to our relationship are immeasurable!  We both stayed with him in the hospital almost non-stop, we had many friends and family come to visit, send cards and food and gifts.  He began to realize THIS is family.  We cried and hurt with him, we took care of him, washing his hands and feet, literally and figuratively.  He was able to see what love really meant.  Despite his pain and not being able to sign with his dominant hand, he was full of thankfulness to everyone who helped him, from the trainers on the field, to those who brought his food and cleaned his room.  It was amazing to see this is who he really is, with uncontrollable pain, he was gracious and kind.  Through this time of struggle, he is recognizing this is what it means to be loved.  The first two weeks after his injury were the best we've had in the last two years.  What seems like it may have been the worst thing to happen to him, has been one of the best things in our relationship.  What an amazing blessing, hidden in what was once one of my greatest fears (I've always been afraid that one of my boys would break an arm and due to their deafness, would be unable to communicate).  We know that we will still struggle and have difficulties, but, we are so thankful for God's grace and provision through this time.

Even in the midst of hardship and pain, family is becoming so much sweeter!  We're so thankful that we'll have a special and memorable time of celebrating two years together tonight!

A Summary of Spring

Well, I've been quite remiss at posting regularly, so, this will be another picture update!  There's been some exciting new changes going on around here, and hopefully we'll get to tell you about them one of these days when I find time to sit down and write!

Until then, here's what we've been up to since early March

Tanner is enjoying the end of the drought!

A fun time with Matt during spring break at the Houston aquarium

Jian's first ferris wheel ride in Houston

A fun trip to Houston to visit Great-grandpa Olson

We had a great week with Grandma Lenger visiting, including a trip to the A&M physics show

Jon had a great trip to Ukraine (part of our exciting new changes :))

Jian's 2nd time in competition to Pole Vault - he won 3rd place at this district meet by jumping 9 feet!

A proud brother!

Jian achieved his personal best for long jump

Tanner achieved his personal best too!

3rd place medal and all his track ribbons for the season

Hattie likes Tanner's Easter books too

Our family walked/ran a 5K to help raise money for Compassion International in Ghana.  Jian won 1st place in his age group and 19th overall (of 252 runners), in his first time running long distance.  This is the best picture from the race - and it was before we even started!

Jian started soccer season last week, he's loving learning a new sport.

Tanner laughing at the kisses from the pre-rodeo petting zoo!

Well, that catches us up for now.  We're all excited to be going to California next week.  Jon will be co-presenting at the Summit VIII, an annual conference about orphan care.  We'll try to post more about that later!

We're still here

WOW!  It's been a while since I've posted here!

Let's see, I'll try to give a brief recap of what's been going on the last 5 months.  Despite having a rough fall  around here we had a lot going on and were still able to make many fun memories!

We enjoyed our friend Charity coming to visit from Indiana.

Fall 2011

Jian loved his first salt water fishing experience with our friends in Rockport, TX.

We had a memorable time when our friends the Meyers came to visit, which included a trip to the pumpkin patch!

We had a fun Thanksgiving in Whitney, TX with all of Jon's family.

Thanksgiving 2011

We went and cut down our Christmas tree - the 2nd time ever for Jian!

We had fun seeing Christmas lights and Tanner liked the snow (ice) they brought in!

We loved the holidays and bowling with friends - apparently we're a little worn out! 

And had fun making gingerbread houses with friends as well!

Then we had a great trip to Michigan to celebrate Christmas - not much snow, but, still a memorable time!

Grandpa and Jian

Jian, Grandma and Tanner

Great-grandpa and Grandma Lenger with the boys

We celebrated Jon's 40th birthday together!

We all had a blast watching the Harlem Globetrotters (thanks Aunt Nece & Uncle Steele)!

Jian finished out the basketball season.  He played on the B team and was the top scorer in all but 2 games!

Jian shooting a freethrow

Then started track!

SO - that's the short, pictorial version of the last 5 months!  We have a lot of things going on, so I'll try to 

update again sometime soon!  

Happy Birthday Jian!

Today we celebrate Jian's 15th birthday!  He woke up so excited this morning and was thrilled to have the table decorated, Dad making him noodles for breakfast, and a couple of gifts to open!  This is his first American birthday and his second birthday with our family.  Last year we celebrated at an Indian restaurant with some friends in China and this year we are celebrating him with friends and family.  Many children adopted from China do not know their actual birth date, but, because of a note left with Jian, we do know that September 29, 1996 is really his birthday!  He loves knowing that bit of information and we're grateful for God's kindness and provision for Jian with that note.What an exciting time, to celebrate his birthday, and at the same time be able to celebrate the amazing gift we have received in our son!

Jian has been talking about this day for a while now, how this will be his first birthday celebration ever, that in China, he was rarely, if ever, told Happy Birthday.  This is such a fun day for all of us!  I can't help but look back and wonder about all of his past birthdays and what he looked like and what he did.  I think back to 15 years ago today, and wonder what that little baby looked like, wonder how big he was, what time he was born, how much hair he had,  how long he was, how much he cried.  I also think about the fact that if he wasn't born deaf we would never have known him, never have been able to be celebrating him, never have seen God's sovereignty played out so clearly in front of our eyes.  What a bittersweet day, it's wonderful to celebrate him and and yet I'm sad for all of the celebrations he's missed with a family.  We're thankful that, Lord willing, there will be many more celebrations to come!  

What a blessing to have this boy brought to us 14 years after his birth, to become a part of our family and be able to praise God for his life!

Happy Birthday Jian Feng Lee Bergeron!

Jian's 1st Adoption Day!

Today we celebrated Jian's adoption day! One year ago today we completed the official paperwork in China for his adoption.  We've been looking at pictures and videos over the last few days of those days one year ago.  

Meeting & chatting with Jian 9/25/2010

Jian has watched the videos many times over the last year and laughed at himself and talked about not understanding a lot of what we were signing.  The last few days have been a little hard for him, probably anticipating the anniversary of his adoption and a lot of feelings being stirred up.  Tonight we had a great time eating dinner with friends at a Chinese restaurant and he was so excited and happier than we've seen him for a while!

Opening adoption gift 9/26/2011

What a year it's been!  We've had many ups and downs, but, overall, many more ups than downs and we've seen amazing changes over the last year!  Jian's ASL is amazing, now we just try to remember some Chinese signs and only use our translator app for school!  His English is improving and mostly, his behavior has improved!  He's a joy to have around, he makes lots of jokes and is mostly comfortable being a part of our family!  He's in school full time, playing football, participating often in class, and making friends.

Though we often have hard times, hard days, hard moments, it's a joy to remember this is where God purposed Jian to be long ago and it's a great reminder of His sovereignty!  What a wonderful day to celebrate, and a fun time to look back and see all of the changes that have happened in one short year!